May-December Bone Of Contention
by Jared AA
Summary: Update *17 Mar Chapter 24 #### May-December relationship refers to a relationship between two people where one partner is in the supposed "winter" of their life (old) and the other partner in the relationship is in the supposed "spring" of their life (young). Takes place after the fishing cabin date and before the cattle roundup in Season 2 Episode 4.
1. Chapter 1

Can't remember the last time I was excited to drive out of Heartland and not complain about traveling the give or take 125 kilometres and an hour thirty minute drive towards Barrhead. A contented smile leaves my lips as I think about what awaits me there. Those mesmerising sparkling light blue sapphire eyes beckoning me deeper into them and the image of Lisa's beaming smile. Lisa's been away three weeks in France with breeding season in full swing over there and today she gets back but decided to change flight plans or rather add an extra one from Calgary to Barrhead to meet me for this Agro Expo being held at the The Barrhead Blue Heron.

I didn't know how much, I would miss Lisa until she went to France. Obviously I didn't want her to go but I know she needs to go for business, so that was that. But god I missed her, dropping by just to talk about something that happened at Fairfield or one of her horses or just about anything and everything. I hadn't realized how quickly accustomed I came to her being around at any given moment until she left and seemed to take every ounce of life with her as well.

I was pretty damn surly with everyone and much, much more then usual, I realize and chuckle. While I know it was Lisa that suggested she meet me in Barrhead when we realized the expo date and her arrival would be on the same day but that was before she left on her trip. I am a bit apprehensive that she might have met someone in France and more importantly someone younger that will be able to keep up with her and be a better fit for someone like her. Nevertheless I decided to chance it to be able to see her again even though "whatever this is" between us might not be anything anymore, after her trip and her good sense came back to her and she realizes what a mistake she's made.


	2. Chapter 2

At the Barrhead Airport, I wait anxiously to see Lisa and hope that she still wants to be with me. I chuckle to myself thinking that I was less anxious when competing on the rodeo circuit and waiting to ride those bucking horses. Sure do feel like a school boy waiting for his girl at her door waiting to go to the prom. Her flight got in ten minutes ago so she should be out any second. Flying business class does have its benefits, getting off before the the bulk of people, and having priority luggage to get your begs as soon as you're out. All this new found information now in head is thanks to Lisa's patient nature to answering my sometimes absurd questions.

A sweet smile sets on my lips as I remember how assiduous she was when explaining to me how she gets done a lot faster then most passengers and that there is maybe at most a fifteen minute window from touch down to pick up. I remember those sparking blue eyes of hers gazing into mine as she coqutteishly smiled at me and imparted with "all the better Jack, to quickly get back to my stallion and maybe go for a ride or something."

I still have a grin like a cheshire cat on my face from that memory when suddenly through the crowd I see those mesmerising sparkling light blue sapphire eyes that I've fallen for. My breath catches whilst I behold her picturesqueness and I'm overcome with such tenderness that my heart exhales in contentment. Hauling her bag while searching for me, suddenly she turns as if a hidden force propels her eyes towards me and our eyes interlock in recognition and delight. A smile so radiant washes over Lisa's face that it leaves me motionless as she makes her way swiftly to me.

All of a sudden she lets go of her bags and breaks into mini run the last few steps and launches herself towards me wrapping her legs around my waist while I hook my right arm across and just below her shoulder blades to as I hook my left hand just above the back of her knee right knee to help steady myself and hold her to me as I swing her around while she's wrapped around me. God it feels good to have Lisa in my arms as I hold her tightly to me taking her scent while we embrace each other. Her left hand around my neck and right hand almost under my hat with her face slightly above mine, she takes off my hat and places it onto her head with a roguish smile. Her beautiful face right in front me although slightly above me with her wrapped high up on my waist and with those mesmerizing soul piercing sparkling blue eyes beckoning me to her, we kiss a prolonged passionate breathless kiss that lasts a good while. As I come down from the exhilaration of being retunited I realize that almost everyone is watching us. "Lisa" I firmly utter and she looks at me confused by my sudden change in demeanor. All these people are staring at us" I whisper to her. It looked like people watching our public display of affection didn't bother her as she just shrugged her shoulders smiled down at me says "hey cowboy" and kisses me sweetly before letting go of me.

I put my hand on her lower back guiding her to her dropped bags as we head out the airport. I guess she didn't meet anyone while in France and "whatever this is" between us is still there.


	3. Chapter 3

After putting her bags in the back and joining her in the truck she stops me starting up the engine by placing her hand on my arm and with a playful smile dislodges the hat from her head and replaces it back onto mine. "There, that's where it belongs " and continues to gaze at me with those sparkling blue eyes. "Lise, what?" I question as she continues to gaze at me. "They don't have cowboys like you in France, Jack. I just need a minute take you all in" I feel so thrilled by her assessment that I take her hands and pull her towards me to give her a sweet quick kiss.

I tell her bit of whats Tim been up to while she's been in France. But the ten minute drive to the Blue Heron isn't enough time to tell her everything that Tim's been getting himself into. As we enter the Blue Heron I know my day and maybe my life's about to get back to the reality of what I know is true. Meaning that Lisa and I don't have a chance in hell to become more then just maybe friends because by the looks she getting from all the men and the derisive looks I'm receiving from all over, I know this is probably the last chance I will get to do something with her on my arm as her boyfriend.

Before we even enter the actual grounds, a couple of young men in their twenty's have the audacity to proposition Lisa right in front of me. But Lisa knows how to put them in their place so we continue to the entrance of the expo, We about to enter the grounds after handing our tickets over when the wanna be TSA security officer patting me down crudely remarks of how he'd like to frisk and do the 'hottie' I'm with. I can pretty much feel my fists chomping at the bit to do some serious damage to the security guy. I manage to not do anything stupid and finally Lisa and I walk into the grounds with my hand lightly on her back guiding her to where I want her to head.

As we walk through to get to our or rather my preferred destination another young man decides to hound Lisa, she firmly rejects his advances but before he leaves makes it known that he'll be around when she gets "tried of old grandpa over here". There are no words to describe how dejected I feet right at this moment. Lisa grasps the crook of my arm firmly and tells me not to worry because all these men were just jealous of me.

With Lisa's reassurance I can't help but feel both pride at having Lisa on my arm and the trepidation that comes along being with someone so young and utterly beautiful, elegant and graceful which I feel is out of my league.


	4. Chapter 4

It has never escaped my attention of the effect Lisa has to turn the head of a man. It happens everywhere in Hudson and the surrounding areas we go out to and as we make our way from one stall to another it definitely doesn't escape my attention now either of how she has that affect on men everywhere. More importantly to me, she's with me and it makes me want to get of out bed every morning to add more to myself besides wanting to have her grace my life. Especially this late in my life it's obviously a validation of my masculinity and how that makes me feel I have no words to describe. I didn't know it was possible to feel both a source of satisfaction and a source of torment simultaneously, but Lisa brings out in me intense conflicting emotions, I didn't know I had the capacity to feel let alone knew existed within me.

The way people track her with their eyes like some sort of celebrity that they want a part of is disturbing. I know she's drop dead gorgeous but it wouldn't kill people to be discreet and not invade our personal space and ogle her continuously. Even back home when we go out to Maggies or one of the other places frequented by people we know or are acquainted with, it takes a good while for people to stop staring at her and us before they try to go about what they're doing. It annoys me to no end that people feel they have a right to invade upon our lives. All we want to do is go about our business together and not be bothered by anyone but that is a pipe dream by the looks of it.

Lisa has this wonderful ability to shrug of and disregard the attention, she told me that she's always been odd and the didn't seem belong everywhere she's been. People gawking at her is a norm and she's accepted it but by no means comfortable with it. Like today she has on a normal pair of jeans a button down navish shirt and boots with heels that are hidden by the covering jeans but on her they look extraordinary and with the clothes hugging her curves in all the right places it looks like she walked out magazine. I understand why she's garners the attention of the opposite sex but I would bloody appreciate them being more respectful toward her and let her be after they had a look. It really gets on my nerves that they don't seem to get the drift thats she wants to be left alone too do her own things with whom she chooses.

As we roam from stall to stall viewing all thats on offer the come-on lines range from 'beautiful how can I be of service to you' to 'Gorgeous anything you want from me you can take' to many that are not even worth thinking about. Lisa so adept at navigating all of these come-ons never once takes her hand off the crook of my arm while subtly leaning into me and charmingly informs them that she's "got all the man, I need right here". I'm both gratified and embarrassed by Lisa's obvious defence me.


	5. Chapter 5

Do you know, what it does to a man to know that almost every man in any given room wants your woman. It's both thrilling and terrifying but definitely worth it and not to mention so god damn satisfying. I've always known how much older than Lisa I am but try as much as I wanted to fight the spark that seemingly hummed between us, it was inescapable. Something I continuously try to figure out, why I was so accommodating towards her from the first time we met. Why did I seek her company out when she visited Ben when I'm usually not sociable. All I know is without actually knowing how its happened, I was all of a sudden inviting her to have pancakes with us and then going with her to see some horses she may have wanted to buy at a auction. From the first time I met her, I remember daily telling myself to stay away from her because what good would it do me to be around someone you couldn't have and also I definitely had no business being with someone like her.

Lisa didn't just have the looks, she had it all and then some. The trifecta of beauty, brains and grace. I'm not just talkin about the elegance she exudes but the manner in which she conducts herself towards others, no matter their station in life. It was her looks and for me more notable were those exquisite light blue sparkling eyes that attracted me to her at first. However what holds me captivated besides those gorgeous sparkling blue eyes, is her grace which still astounds me and keeps me tethered to her. She manages to surprise me at every turn and that is something I find both comfort in and am uncomfortable with. That she would date a man decades older then she is perturbs me in the sense that I know she can do so much better than me and more so that she deserves it.

The thing is Lisa doesn't need any man to look after her financially or pretty much need anything else from a man, and that's pretty damn intimidating. I sometimes wonder if what I have to offer her, will be good enough for her. Lisa has made it pretty clear that she wants "whatever this is" between us to continue.

I know no good will come of this and yet I can't seem to make myself end it. I fallen in love with Lisa, that's beyond a shadow of a doubt. But this won't work and the longer we both pretend it will, the more it's going to hurt us. So, I need to end it, I can't, I want to but I can't make myself do it. Not when those mesmerizing sparkling light blue sapphire eyes turn to me with an impish smile and states "maybe my man should feed me, since I've flown half way around the world to be with you, cowboy".


	6. Chapter 6

With my hand low on small if her back and my entire frame nary a hairs whisper from her, we make our way to the food court section and buy couple of hot dogs for lunch. It always amazes people that sophisticated Lisa doesn't sneer at any type of food you put in front of her. She's as comfortable eating portentous food as she is down to earth home made food to fast-food. Her ability to navigate between these disparate worlds both frightens me and delights me. It makes me wonder what she even sees in simple old cowboy like me when I know she has the pick of any man.

With Lisa now turned towards me and my right hand instinctively slightly brushing the left back of her thigh, her mesmerizing sparkling light blue sapphire eyes looks up at me. Suddenly glazing into my eyes with an enlightened look that lingers into a soft indescribable gaze. "Lise" I enquire with curiosity. Lisa now subtly nestled into me as we wait to get our food reveals to me how she's just figured out what she unknowingly craved while away on her trip. My shirt slightly open with a couple of buttons undone at the top, Lisa leans even closer into me and nuzzles into my chest and inhales as if the elixir of life has been bestowed upon her. "It's the scent of you, Jack. Its the fragrance of home," she huskily whispers. Lisa abashedly blushes back into my chest and a warmth suddenly envelopes me and I firmly squeeze Lisa's thigh in obvious affection with my face burrowed into her beautiful hair.

The hot dog guy abruptly calls out our order and both Lisa and I are brought out of our intimate trance. The man that serves us literally pops his eyes out of its sockets when he looks at Lisa as she turns out of my chest towards him to take our food. Drooling is the best word describing 'hot dog guy' when he looked at Lisa which is followed by utter surprise that she's with me as my woman. It takes a fair amount of mettle to pursue any sort relationship with a young woman like Lisa. The looks of ridicule and skepticism that almost instantaneously accompanies the drooling is pretty much a certainty.

As we sit at one of the food court tables to eat, Lisa and I talk about her trip and how its was quite productive for Farfield Stables. That we enjoy each others company has always been apparent but what strikes me now is how much I need it to feel balanced and grounded. When I'm with her all the craziness of Heartland seems to fade away somehow, she calms me down and brings me a contentment I've never known. They say until you have it, you don't know it's missing. Until I met Lisa, I thought that was absurd. Now I'm so grateful that I get to experience something so unfathomable because of Lisa.

That Lisa brings out in me intense conflicting emotions is one thing. But for her to able to both calm and excite me at the same time is baffling in its sheer self contradicting notion. The calmness that gives rise to poise within me and the excitement that gives rise to me being virile simultaneously is in a class by itself that authenticates my masculinity and my need for Lisa.

After lunch we head out to see the last quarter of the stalls we hadn't got around to. I guess after the brief respite at lunch at being left alone it was too much to hope that it would continue. As we go from stall to stall the disgusting put downs like 'his your sugar daddy', 'you're old enough to be her father probably even her grandfather' and insults to my manhood which include 'I wonder if he can even get it up','can't rev up the engines' that become more and more humiliating "is there even any Lead in his pencil" that's directed at Lisa. Making sure her hands stay firmly interlocked with mine, Lisa champions me while navigating all these crude remarks with charm and effortlessness ranging from "well boys, better watch your woman because who wouldn't want a sugar daddy like him" , "Well then I guess you all better all hope none of your fathers or grandfathers look half as good as Jack does, otherwise your woman won't be your anymore", " believe me this engine is primed and at the ready, all day and all night", "he can not only get it up, but keeps getting it up and keeps it longer than humanly possible" to "more than enough Lead to rock my world and create new ones".

We finally done with this god damn expo. I lead Lisa back to the truck in ruminative silence as I recall how my masculinity was questioned by these men and my worthiness for Lisa. She holds firmly onto my hand as we make our way to the truck and grabs hold of both of my hands before she opens the door and softly states, "Your brooding good looks are what attracted me to you, Cowboy. But everything else about you keeps me coming back for more. Their appalling behavior has nothing to do with you but everything to do with how small and insecure they feel when compared to you. So please don't give anything that was said today any further thought because its certainly not worth even thinking about." She puts hand around my neck and grasps the hair on the back of my head to lower my head towards her so she can kiss me. Before she kisses me with her lips brushing mine she gently utters, "Take me home, cowboy." A soft gentle lingering kiss that I can't help but return before I get her into the truck and we head out home. 


	7. Chapter 7

On the drive home Lisa falls asleep straight away within the crook of my shoulder. She must be exhausted from the 18 hour flight and plus the all day expo. What was I thinking letting Lisa do that by putting herself through the ringer like that. My annoyance at myself instantly forgotten as I turn my head and look at the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. She looks so damn beautiful and so young and vulnerable. And my protective instincts kick in and a fierce protective nature over takes me. I want to protect her from me just as much as I want to protect her from others. Its tearing me apart, I'm head over heels turn off the lights in love with her but I know this can't work, she's so young with much to offer and I'm galloping on the way out towards the pasture. This needs to end before one or both of us gets hurt too badly.

The drive back home was distressing with me replaying everything that was said. Its glaringly obvious that Lisa is too young for me or rather I'm too old for her. She needs someone younger than me who can offer her the things I won't be able to in the future. Not that any of those men hitting on her today were worthy of her but I know somewhere out there has to be a man that is worthy of her to give her everything she needs. My mind in turmoil, my heart in agony the closer we get home.

As I drive into Fairfield and stop at the front of Lisa's house and shut off the engine, my gaze shifts onto a fast asleep Lisa still nestled within the crook of my shoulder. I take a minute to just look at her and revel in her beauty and a bittersweet smile washes over me as I take in just how young she is and just how old I am compared to her. As I turn into her slightly we fit into each other like a puzzle built to create something unknown yet monumental. With her heart against my chest, her lips now pressed to my neck and the feel of her breath caressing my neck, I'm almost undone. Before I am willing to wake her from her peaceful slumber, I steel myself against the torrent of intense emotions of what I know needs to be done tonight.

I can't help myself as I lean down with my lips barely a hair's breadth from hers and feel her warm breath graze my lips as I caress my hands into her blonde tresses before leaning into to reverently kiss her. I feel Lisa's lips broaden into a smile while I ensnare her lips within mine as she wakes and ardently responds, while wrapping her arms around my neck. Its been weeks and the feel of Lisa in my arms and the taste of her lips drives me out of my mind. A kiss so hungry, rich and unexpectedly sweet warming our bodies and heating our blood.


	8. Chapter 8

Its not the first time she's felt what she does to me while we make out, but Lisa has always taken my lead and refrained from going any further. Soft, gentle kisses to long, languorous lip-locking kisses inflaming our blood. Kissing Lisa is one long sensual addiction.

I ease back and follow the line of her jaw up to her ear and nuzzled into her huskily whispering, "Lise we need to go in". Lisa's dazed expression finally gives way to her awareness to where we are. In the truck at the front of her house with her astride me. She rasply utters, "Okay" as her hands shifts softly through the ends of my hair that fall to my neck. She draws me in for soft sweet kiss, "Thank you for picking me up today, cowboy." Before getting out of the truck she places my hat back onto my head that somehow got dislodged while we were necking.

I get out of the truck and collect her bags. Lisa opens up the house and switched the lights and the heat on. "Leave the bags in the living room Jack. I'll sort them out tomorrow. I did't mean to fall asleep on you"

"Its okay Lise, I know you were tired."

Lisa makes her way towards me, places her hands around my neck and suggestively states, "I'm not tired anymore, cowboy".

With my arms instinctively embracing her waist and our foreheads resting against each other, I summon all my courage to do what needs to be done. If I let Lisa kiss me one more time I won't have it in me to do this. I let go of Lisa and move away from her just a bit to give me enough distance from her to hold my resolve. "We…we need to stop whatever this is, Lise," I agonisingly manage to get out.

"What!" is Lisa's bewildering response.

The slightly longer version of chapter 8 is posted under MA (NC-17) content

MA (NC-17) content:  
Click on filters and when the menu appears click ratings and select All, go to apply click and all the MA rated stories will appear. Click on May-December Bone Of Contention NC-17 Chapters to get the MA (NC-17) content.

Or click on Jared AA and go to May-December Bone Of Contention NC-17 Chapters

Thank you for your understanding.


	9. Chapter 9

"We need to stop whatever this is, Lise," I repeat distressingly.

Confusingly Lisa retorts. "Yeah I got that." Frowning deeply she stares at me in disbelief trying to process what's happening.  
"I don't understand Jack. Between getting out of the truck and into the house, what happened… I don't get it."

"Nothing, it wasn't anything, Lise." I reply earnestly

"Then what! Because everything appeared fine not even two minutes ago in the truck. Where I'd remind you we were pretty hot and heavy."

I didn't know how to respond to that or what to say. Those beautiful sparkling blue eyes losing it's glint with every second that goes by. My heart in agony my mind in turmoil more then I thought it could ever be.

"Don't you see it, Lisa. We can't be together"

"No I don't see anything of the sort, Jack. Up until a few minutes ago, neither did you."

"That's not true. You know I'm too old for you Lise. This, between us won't work. Today case in point was a shining example of that."

Stepping towards and reaching for me Lisa imploringly utters, "I told you not to pay attention to what they said, Jack."

I retreat further away from Lisa. Trying to keep the distance between us. "Not so easy to do when they're right Lise. I am old enough to be your father and they right about being your grandfather as well, that's pushing it pretty close but we both know mathematically its possible."

"You know what, first of all you're not my father or my grandfather. So there is nothing wrong with what's going on between us. And Jack I know how old you are. The first day I met you, I knew that you were somewhat older then me. Although I'll admit it didn't even cross my mind that you were old enough to be my father because you certainly don't look it. But when I realized how old you were it didn't matter to me Jack.  
It didn't matter to me then and it doesn't matter to me now."

"It matters Lise," I grief strickenly maintain.

"All I saw was a man I was attracted to, and a man that I wanted to get to know better. I told you the first day we met, that everyone needs a good man in their life. From the moment I laid my eyes on you everything about you screamed that were you one of those few men. I pretty much decided there and then, I wanted you to be 'that man in my life'."

"You are still so young, Lise. So much younger than me."

"Jack…"

"I know that our age difference doesn't worry you and to be honest I don't understand how that's possible"

"Our age difference has never worried me, Jack because I see you, rough and ruggedly handsome, strong, thoughtful and passionate, yet shy and extremely reserved not an old man, just you. You are the man I want in my life, to talk with, to be with, to laugh with, to just sit in silence with as the day winds down, the man I want to be a part of my life."

"It won't work, Lise," I answer in anguish.


	10. Chapter 10

It's tearing me apart but I need for her to see why this won't work between us. "It won't work because we're incompatible age wise…lifestyle wise. You're too sophisticated for me Lise. I'm an old cowboy thats set in his ways." I need Lisa to see what she'd be giving up. "Why would you want to be saddled with someone who'll hold you back. You're beyond compare, Lise and believe me I don't measure up."

"Don't put me on a pedestal Jack. I'm not some demigod that walks on water and turns water into wine. I'm just a woman, Jack like any other… probably have more faults then most and if you give 'whatever this is' a chance you'll find out all about them, than I'll be the one that doesn't measure up in your eyes."

Lisa's self-deprecating characterization of herself only endears me more. But I need to make her understand that carrying on what we have is a exercise in futility. "Even if we somehow manage to overcome all that, you know what will always be there Lise, my age and how people will always talk the way they did today. We'll always be a topic for discussion anywhere we go. That's no way to live, Lisa."

"You know one of the main reasons I was attracted to you was because you didn't seem like a man that cared what others thought. You know what you want and you get on with your life and make no apologies for it."

"Lisa with you and me its not as simple as that. There are other factors to consider they override…"

"Doesn't what we feel matter, Jack" interrupts Lisa. "Whatever this is between us feels right."

She looks me straight in the eyes with those mesmerizing sparkling light blue sapphire eyes and verbalizes that which I wish she wouldn't.

"You feel it too, don't you. We've spent a great deal of time together and we still gravitate towards each other, Jack. Doesn't that tell you something."

"Yeah, that we'd be great as friends" I cruelly counter. I can see the rapid shift of those sparkling light blue sapphire eyes from impassive to ice cold fire blazing.

"Friends that kiss and are pretty intimate," is Lisa's caustic reply.

I clarifying add, "we haven't been intimate yet, so that's besides the point."

"Believe me I'm aware of that… I'm good enough to socialize with but not that good right… obviously not good enough to take to your bed."

"Lise that's not what I…"

"Oh okay, you want to do this now. So what about the kissing then Jack. A form of friendship sort of like a friends with benefits, only without. If I'm being honest friends with a bit of the benefits. That sound about right," Lisa peevishly states.

I can't take the anguish that we both experiencing and try to stop it. "Lise, don't do this"

"Do what Jack! Try to figure out what you want or sort of want."

"Please Lisa… don't.."

"You're like a teaser stallion Jack. Only difference is your mare is in heat but you have no desire to cover her. Believe me I know how a frustrated mare in heat feels. "

"I never meant to let…"

"What! Let it go so far."

"Yes…no! No what I mean is I wanted to have your company to just once bask in your vitality and warmth. But you're hard woman to resist Lisa. Forbidden fruit always is Lise," I admit sincerely. "In the beginning, I would tell myself every time we went out it would be the last time but that went right out the window and the more time we spent together, the harder it got to break off what we were becoming."

"You didn't seem to have a problem resisting me Jack. I know your body physically reacted to me or rather me just being a woman but you're a healthy, energetic, red-blooded man so that's to be expected, a man has needs. But the rest of you not so much."

My heart distressed that Lisa thinks I don't want her and that she's replaceable by any warm body. "You're wrong Lise, about you being just any woman, being able to make me want you that way." I take a couple steps and reach Lisa. With my hands on either side of her face, I gaze into Lisa's eyes with my forehead resting against hers. "My body doesn't just crave yours physically but in every other way too." My body pressed closed hers there can be no mistaking what I feel for her. My heart racing, my mouth dry and my eyes enthralled I kiss Lisa and we make our way to her room.

That she is exquisite and everything I dreamed off is an understatement. A night filled with rapture will stay with me until the day I die. I untangle myself from Lisa and get dressed. I find a pen and paper on her dresser and write 'Lisa, It won't work. We can't be Lisa. Stopping whatever this is is the only way. Please forgive me but this is the only way I can say goodbye. Jack". I fold the paper and leave the note on the pillow I just vacated. A farewell kiss to her forehead as I leave. I turn back for one last look at her and burn the image of her into my mind. As I leave Fairfield and Lisa my heart in agony and my mind in despair.

Within the next 24 to 48hrs the slightly longer version of chapter 10 is posted under MA (NC-17) content

MA (NC-17) content:  
Click on filters and when the menu appears click ratings and select All, go to apply click ALL, the MA rated stories will appear. Click on May-December Bone Of Contention NC-17 Chapters to get the MA (NC-17) content.

Or click on Jared AA and go to May-December Bone Of Contention NC-17 Chapters

Thank you for your understanding.


	11. Chapter 11

As I step out of Lisa's house I feel the chill pervade into me. I hurry to the truck and make my way out of Fairfield. I dare not look back to the house, afraid I'll turn straight back and wouldn't be able to hold my nerve to leave.  
I need to get out here before she wakes up for her usual morning training routine. A twenty kilometre run followed by training with one of her racehorses. Putting the horse through its paces and conditioning it, building its stamina and timing for race day. I've seen her train and it's a sight to be hold. Its obvious how competent she is at the business end of things, but the hands on end of things, very few people are aware of. The first time I convinced her to let me observe her, training with a racehorse, she impressed the hell out of me. My heart was in mouth, my heart ready to burst out my chest as she galloped at breakneck speed, around the Fairfield track. I was both terrified and awed by her and so damn proud, that someone so amazing was apart of my life. I remember those sparking light blue eyes shimmering, in delight at my obvious pride in her.

On the road in the dark, I put my foot on the gas to take me away from her, as fast as possible. My head a mess, my hands shaking, my breath fast and erratic and my heart now settled in to an gut-wrenching sensation. I don't know where I'm going but I know I can't go back to Heartland, with the state mind I'm in right now. I drive trying to think about anything but Lisa. Tim, Amy, Lou, Mallory but nothing works. All my memories of them now include Lisa. Her pervading influence in my life, only makes my heartache more and my head hurt more than it already does. Every memory of the people closest to me now include her. Unsuspectingly, she has permeated into every crevice of my life.

* * *

I need to get some coffee to try get rid of my shaking hands and headache. I pull over to a garage and coffee place, just before I hit the open road to find someplace to quiet to think. Great the place is filled with some locals and others from the surrounding areas. Just what I need, to be around people! I make my way quietly to the corner of the counter and order a coffee to go.

"Oh my God! If it isn't, Jack Bartlett. What brings you around, before the crack of dawn," some guy nosily enquires.

Uninterestingly, I retort, "Just getting a coffee."

"You could get a coffee at your place." The man throws out, not leaving well enough alone.

I don't answer and ignore the guy, who I have no idea or inkling about. This can't be happening, I just need my coffee and I'll be outta here.

"Cat got your tongue there, Jack. Wooah, I almost forgot, this is the way back from your broads place." The idiot continues on without a care in the world of what I want.

Another idiot decides to join in. "So tell us ,Jack. Did you just get back from taking that filly of yours for a ride?"

"I'll bet a nice long ride" Yet another idiot comments.

Another idiot wants to know. "Who you guys talking about?"

"That beauty, of a blue blood, Lisa Stillman."

He lets out an impressed whistle. "She sure is a fine piece of ass."

Now its party! A God damn gaggle of men wanting their shot.

And one after another;

"How bout that, Jack, did you put in that stone cold fox?"

A man lays his hand on my arm and crudely remarks. "Did you give it to her, nice and good?"

"If you don't want lose that arm, I suggest you take it off me." The man doesn't heed my warning and continues. "She must be a tiger in bed, I sure wouldn't mind trying to taming her."

I was barely hanging on to my temper as it is. I finally snap at that last crude comment and haul the man up against the wall next to me by his jacket lapels, lifting him of the ground. "From now on you better talk about her with nothing but utmost respect." I release my thumbs from his jacket lapels, placing pressure on is voice box. He gasps for breath, legs kicking in the air. "Or it will be last time, you ever here yourself talk to anybody, you got that."

A man grabs me from behind swinging his fist at me, I let go of this jerk, evading his fist. I catching the next one in my hand, I throw a right hook and hear the crack of the guys jaw. Before any of the others can take their shot at me, a man steps in brakes up the fight and sends the other men a warning look. They back away and leave us be. The man that saved me form a likely beating, is Harry, I'm surprised to note. Lisa's right hand man at Fairfield, who is just about my age.

He calls over the waitress and mutters something to her. He pointedly looks toward the door and I catch the drift. I make my way out with Harry following me outside to my truck.

"You okay there, Jack"

"Yeah, just bruised knuckles. Nothing that won't heal. Thanks Harry, but you didn't need to get in the middle of that."

"No, I didn't. But if you going be with Lisa, you can't go around punching every guy that mouths off about her. Because let me tell you, Jack. You'll be getting into fights more frequently then you can possibly imagine."

I look down at my boots not knowing what to say.

"I've known Lisa all of her life. Those things you heard about her are tame compared to what usually gets thrown around about her. A beautiful full woman like ,Lisa doesn't escape attention, Jack. And what men can't have they envy. That bunch can't get within two feet of her and if they do, I or one my trusted hands are with her when that happens. Now you are with her when that happens, and I'd bet the house on it that you've had it happen to you already. She turns down men like no bodies business, probably happened to a few of them too. So its sour grapes on their part. The point is it's not going to change, no matter how many men you take on."

I look long sufferingly at Harry, not knowing what to do.

"You make Lisa happy Jack. Happier than I've ever seen her. She's never known anything close to the contentment that's been apart of her since she met you. She's never had a good man in her life Jack, but I have feeling you'll do just fine."

I avert my gaze from Harry. He has no idea what I've just done. The waitress comes out with two coffees and hands them to us. Harry thanks the waitress and I apologise for the scene in there.

"No problem Jack, those guys are just jealous that you're the man Ms. Stillman wants."

I blush at her comment and keep my eyes on my boots.

"I need to get going. Get your hand looked at ,Jack. Be seeing you around." Harry gets into his SUV and makes his way to wherever his going.

At least the chill will help with swelling of my hand. I get into my truck and drive. My heads pretty messed up right now. I don't know if I'm coming or going.

* * *

I find by myself pulling up to my fishing cabin, to find some solace. I both terrified and comforted to be here. After all this is where I knew without doubt, that I was head over heels in love with her. I switch of the truck and just sit at the wheel, staring into nothingness. If I start to think about what happened yesterday and what I never meant to do, I'd lose it right now with nothing to anchor me.

I need to take a walk along the river to help calm my turbulent mind. I focus on the rocks, my every foot step an endeavour of trying to distract my mind from returning to Lisa and my deplorable behavior. The air with its accompanying chill, the river with its soothing countenance eventually manages to alleviate my erratic irregular gulps of breath. I look up and I finally see the sun coming up, my mind so out of to it, I didn't notice the sun rising. I make my way back to the cabin. I take a seat on the porch and finally, let my mind wander to where I know it yearns to return.  
I can barely believe what I just did. God I hope Lisa will find a way to forgive me. Oh God, why did I do that. There is nothing I can ever say that will justify what I just did to Lisa. I told Ty that I felt the same way about kissing and running as I did about fathers abandoning their children. What I did was nothing short of cruel, worse then what Ty did and on par with what Tim did. All I can say is that I didn't mean to do it. It wasn't pre planned, it happened in the heat of the moment and once I had a taste I couldn't stop myself. How could I resist one more kiss, a kiss to show her I wanted her, a kiss to keep me warm long after I broke things off with her. I didn't mean for it, for us to end up in bed. One thing lead to another and I was powerless to stop it. Once she got past those initial barriers, I had no defence against what I felt for her.

I tried to break it off with her but she wouldn't let me do it. She looked at me with those sparkling light blue mesmerizing eyes and I couldn't breathe. I had every word perfectly seared into my mind for when I knew I would come to break it of with her. But a simple motion and the look in those soft beautiful sparkling blue eyes and I was falling helplessly. I needed one more taste of her sweet lips, one more memory to hold onto and to take with me, one last time. But that wasn't enough, I needed more and Lisa wanted more too. All the resistance I put up before seem to fade away, and we did what I promised myself I wouldn't allow both of us to do, to cross that line. And once that barrier came down and we crossed that line there was nothing to stop me from indulging in what we both craved for so long.

Lisa was pliable yet assertive. She was tender yet aggressive. She was exquisite in every way possible. But I was pretty rough with Lisa. I've never ever been that way or had the urge to be rough and all consuming. But I couldn't control myself, I was like a man starved. I needed Lisa to feel what I was feeling, I needed her to feel how out of control and out of my mind she makes me. It's an indescribable feeling to have and I've never been overcome with it before. That Lisa can illicit these new intense emotions in me scares the hell out of me. What's more is I don't feel ashamed that was rough and assertive with her. Lisa response was satisfying to say the least. It makes me feel like a real man, proud and gives credence to my masculinity like nothing else can an affirmation of my sexual prowess. We good together this way too it seems. I knew it'd be good but I don't expect us to fit together the way we did, like we were designed for each other. Lisa is definitely more worldly then I am in this regard and handled me more then adequately, beyond anything I've ever experienced before. She probably would have had to teach me more of what she wants if we stayed together, of that I am certain.

After we'd been together, I didn't know any other way of breaking it off with her. The letter was the only way I knew how to end it after that. I wouldn't have been able to break it off and say goodbye to her, once those beautiful sparkling blue sapphire eyes looked at me with those glassy eyes of satisfaction. I don't think there is a word invented to describe what I just did to Lisa. All of those words feel somehow lacking in its intensity of what I've just did to Lisa. Whatever we started can't go any further, the heartache that we'd afflict on each other should we part ways later down the road would be intolerable.


	12. Chapter 12

I drift awake hazily, feeling like all is right with universe and it feels so damn good. Like a cat, I stretch out while purring and delighting in what happened. My eyes still drowsy, I slowly allow myself to feel for Jack to make sure I hadn't dreamed what just happened. The only thing I feel is a coldness on the sheet next me. Now my eyes wide open, I search for any sign of Jack. I really couldn't have of just dreamed that, or could I have? No, no I can't be going that crazy, it felt amazing more amazing than any dream I've ever had. I inhale a new scent a scent that had never adorned this room. It's the scent of what we shared, it's also proof that I most definitely wasn't dreaming.

So where is Jack! Maybe his downstairs getting something to drink, his an early riser too. More awake than before, I sudden notice a note on the pillow next to me. I open the letter jovially thinking Jack probably left me a note saying he had to get to Heartland because he had an early morning and will see me later in the day. With an utter sense of merriment, I open the note to read what Jack has written for me.

 _'Lisa,_  
 _It won't work._  
 _We can't be, Lisa._  
 _Stopping, 'whatever this is', is the only way._  
 _Please forgive me but this is the only way, I can say goodbye._  
 _Jack_

He wouldn't… My mind goes numb. I am stunned and little bit shellshocked by the note. I guess, I know why he wasn't here when I woke up. What we experienced obviously wasn't enough for him. Or was I too aggressive and out of control. I probably scared him off of me, for good now. I didn't expect what happened to happen. I would have been better prepared if I knew we were going to cross over that line yesterday. I would have made sure to keep myself in check. Although, I've never been out of control with a man before so I don't see how I could have actually prevented myself from losing control and being so brazen. Great Lisa! because you have no self control when it comes Jack, you've scared him off. When will you learn that you need to be more circumspect, in everything you do.

As my mind replays what happened between us I'm left a bit confused. Because I distinctly remember shy, introverted and extreme reserved Jack, being more passionate than I ever dreamed he would be. He was commanding, and rough, and equally gentle. So, I don't understand why my reciprocating in equal measure would have scared Jack off. Unless, he likes his woman to be more ladylike between the sheets. Great now I have a headache trying to sort through why Jack would just walk out. I know he enjoyed what happened between us, the euphoric release off his body is evidence of that. It wasn't just a singular occurrence of release. I know he wanted it as such I did, because it was three times for him over the night. Which I must say, is not just impressive but a feat for any man. I know Jack's in great physical shape, the work his always done at the ranch on a daily basis has fortified his muscular physique even more and has definitely built up his stamina. But even men half his age wouldn't have been able to perform, the way Jack did, in such a short space of time. It only enhances my admiration for him, even more. It wouldn't have mattered if we weren't compatible in bed. He brings more to my life than that, and I would have been fine with it. But we are well matched between the sheets it seemed to me, I guess not to Jack's satisfaction.

My thoughts like a tornado quickly gathering pace and fusing everything together and abruptly taking flight from place to place. I recall he was, so aggressive, and rough, taking what he needed from me that I don't understand why he wouldn't want me to continue to fulfil his needs. I've always wanted a man that would ravish me and not be timid with me. I didn't think I'd ever find a man, that would be able to please me, the way I knew I craved. That Jack is that man, pleases me to end. He makes me feel safe, I know I can be vulnerable with Jack and not feel foolish or judged. He makes me feel wanted, cherished and loved. With me being a business woman, being stern and relatively professional all the time to people, it's nice to have someone be dominant and in charge at times. Jack made me feel so feminine, so beautiful, so wanted. I loved that he was so dominant but also tender. I yearn to be with a man that is both dominant and gentle, someone who knows that I'll need both those aspects to feel whole and someone who can accept the same in return.

What if Jack finds my aggressiveness, unappealing? Some men don't like woman that are so brazen. I don't know if Jack is one of those men. He didn't give that impression while we together last night. I remember his eyes burned through me like a raging fire. I fell blissfully with every touch which made me crazy. I have never wanted an other man, the way I wanted Jack. I surrendered to what I couldn't control, once in a rare occurrence for me. Consumed with desire, I opened myself up for the very first time in my life and found in Jack what I needed and took from him what I craved. I had dreamed of this, his body next to mine, drowning in every kiss. How I'd longed for all of him? Only to have finally found everything in me which left me longing, for the aching satisfaction and sweet tenderness, he drew out in my heart.

A feeling of dejection appears to have settled within. I know Jack will never love me the way he loved his wife. But I hoped that I could have a small part in his life. I hoped, I'd be the someone he could rely on, someone that could offer him something he needed, companionship and an intimacy that we could both benefit from. I know I'll never be the type of woman Jack would ever fall in love with because I'm too assertive, too bossy, too everything. I've never been under the illusion that a man like Jack, would feel that type of love for me. The most I'd hoped for was that he would be willing to let me be apart of his life, in some small measure. I gladly take what little he could offer. I once told him, 'everyone needs a good man in their life' and I meant that. I want Jack in my life, no matter how little of him I can have. I know I'll never come first in his life and I've always accepted that. But I thought we had something an undefined something but nonetheless something to keep both of us coming back for more. Sometimes, I foolishly allow myself to believe Jack feels more deeply about me than he actaully does. Wishful, thinking on my part. A bit of a character flaw, I wish I could somehow banish. I love Jack but while I know he'd never be able to reciprocate that love, I'd hoped he would feel deeper level of affection for me and allow me to be part of his life. That what 'whatever this is' between us could endure and remain apart of both of our lives.

You know people have a certain image of me. That I have it all, that I can have any man I want. But that has never been true. Superficially, a very big maybe I could have any man I want but it would never last. I've been through it with Dan and a few others, I'm not wife or girlfriend material was their observation. The closest thing to a successful enduring relationship I have had, would be to Fairfield. It's the only thing that has stood by me and helped me through everything I've been through in my life. It doesn't have unrealistic demands of me, doesn't have unattainable expectations of me and is always there for me as long as I take care of it and in turn it takes care of me. With Jack, I thought maybe I could be better but I am, who I am. I guess, its not enough. It's ironic the best day of your life, can turn out to be the worst day of your life too. There's no point, in dwelling on what I can't change. I can't push Jack too hard into making him accept me into his life. What would be the point in that? He needs to want 'whatever this is' just as much as I do. Otherwise, it won't work. Jack knows I want him, want a relationship with him. I've made that more then clear to him. There is nothing more for me to do then to carry on with my life and hope that Jack changes his mind and wants to continue 'whatever this is' and allows me to be part of his life.


	13. Chapter 13

My drive back to Heartland is excruciatingly heavy hearted. It is well after midday when I arrive back at the ranch. I make sure to steel myself against my agonizing emotions, trying to make sure they're not visible upon my face. As soon as I arrive, I see the girls and Ty take an interest in my arrival. Great! I'll probably have to deal with their nosy questions now.

"Grandpa, we were worried about you." Amy quickly gets out.

"Yes, grandpa you didn't let us know you were going to be gone overnight. And you weren't back this morning to start with your morning chores which made us worry more." Lou adds.

"I told them to try Lisa's." Mallory quick interjects.

Oh God! Please let them not have done that. That's what she would have needed, a call from my family wanting to know if I was there. That would have went well. _Yes, girls Jack was here but his not anymore. Just reading his 'Dear John Note' so if you don't mind, I'd really like a few minutes to myself._

Thunderously Jack asks them, "Did either of you call Lisa's."

"Off cause not, grandpa." "No, grandpa." Both Lou and Amy simultaneously get out in a hurry trying to placate Jack.

"Let me be straight with all of you, we had a similar discussion before. Like I told you before 'The way I see it, I'm grownup enough to manage my own private life, anyway I see fit. I don't need any advise from ANY OF YOU." Jack harshly states.

"But Jack, you need all the help you can get," Malloy seriously informs me.

"I mean it, Mallory. I don't want to hear it, my private life, my business." Jack adamantly states to her. "As for the rest of you, what I do with my time and where I maybe or may not be, is not any of your concern. You live under my roof, so I don't answer to any of you, have you got that." Jack informs Lou, Amy and Ty.

"Yes, grandpa," Amy retorts.

"Yes, grandpa," Lou sulkily replies.

"Yes, Jack," Mallory replies unhappily.

"Yes, Jack," Ty replies uneasily.

"Good, now that all that's cleared up, I need to get changed and get to those chores, if you all don't mind." Jack throws out sarcastically as he makes his way to the house.

* * *

"Jesus! What got up his ass?" Ty snarkily comments.

"Maybe Lisa, dumped him." Lou suggests.

"No way, Lisa is totally hot for Jack," Mallory, informs the rest of them.

"Gross, Mallory!" Amy spits out as both Ty and Lou chuckle as Amy's reaction.

"Come on, Amy! They are totally, hot for each other." Mallory rolls her eyes and shakes her head as she enlightens Amy.

"You can't know…. THAT!" Amy counters irritatingly.

"Oh, believe me I know. You are all too blind to see it. Well, just you and Lou," Mallory straight forwardly declares to Amy and Lou.

"What do mean just me and Lou? Ty, doesn't think that either." Amy assuredly notifies Mallory.

"Wanna bet!" Mallory announces with certainty.

"Don't be ridiculous, Mallory. You'll will end losing your money. Just tell her, Ty." Amy directly implores him.

"Why Amy, what's the point?" Ty uncomfortably questions.

"Just tell her you don't agree. Tell her you don't think both grandpa and Lisa are…. Are… you know," Amy struggles to say it out loud.

"That Jack and Lisa are HOT for each other." Mallory indulgently states for Amy's benefit.

"Well, Ty?" Amy blushing enquires while waiting for Ty's response.

"Mallory you know, Amy and Lou see Jack as their grandpa and not a man so they don't take notice of these things." Ty tries ti defend Amy naivety.

"But you know its true right, Ty. They are totally HOT for each other, or are you too chicken to say it in front of Amy." Mallory pushes Ty to answer.

"Fine….Yes, Jack and Lisa are totally HOT for each other. You'd have to be blind not to see it. I mean they don't make it obvious. But by the little things they do and the air fairly crackling around them. It's obvious they have something." Ty informs Mallory and Lou. "Amy, Lou, I know you guys don't want to see it because his been yours for so long, and you don't want to share him and don't think of him as a man with other desires. And him having a girlfriend probably makes both of you jealous….," discontinuing at their outburst.

"That's not true." "What are you talking about?" Both Amy and Lou rush to defend themselves at the same time.

"AND…..and all I'm saying is, you don't want to see what happening between Jack and Lisa because it might turn your world upside down, if you acknowledge it." Ty honestly informs them.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ty," Lou objects condescendingly as Amy nods to affirm.

"Okay, guys lets get back to work, before Jack catches us gossiping about his life." Mallory cleverly injects before things get out of hand and Jack catches them and throws them out of Heartland.

Lou and Amy both take of in a huff. Obviously, unhappy with Ty's observations.

"Thanks, Mallory, I think both Amy and Lou were about to throw me to the wolves." Ty sincerely voices to Mallory.

"No problem, Ty. But they did need to hear that. They've been blasé about it. I think they were willing to tolerate it as long as it didn't interfere, too much with their lives," astutely Mallory declares letting Ty know she had his back.

* * *

I feel bereft as the water cascades across my body, taking what remains of Lisa's scent off of me, dismissing our consummation and in turn disowning her. My tears mingle with the water crashing down upon my head and face. I let them fall knowing, it's the only way I have a chance of making it through the rest of the day and the coming days. I use their release to fortify myself and compel myself to get on with the day and not dwell on 'what can never be'.

I make my way to the barn and decide I need to be alone. I can't answer any the kids questions or take their curious gazes, so I saddle up Paint and decide to ride the fences and maybe check on my cows. As I ride along the all too familiar path, I become aware of the fact that I don't even know where I'm going. It appears Paint knows what I need and takes me away to an isolated part of Heartland. It's a place I rarely frequent, it's a place where I come to think when I feel I have no answers, to the questions life asks. This has happened only twice, when Lyndy passed and when Marion passed. I couldn't see my how my life was going to continue with all the grief I felt at that time.

While Lisa hasn't passed, I feel a sorrow, so deep and so all encompassing it feels fitting that Paint has seen fit to bring me here. When Lyndy passed it felt like a good friend had passed, a friend that I would no longer be able to call upon. My grief my was great and eventually it faded into a memory. When Marion passed, it felt like a sucker punch to the gut. I did't have anytime to grieve or feel anything with Amy being seriously injured and in hospital. After the funeral and Amy getting back home, all my attention was focused on Amy and Lou. I grieved by making sure that both girls were doing okay and tried to be there for them. Grieving for Marion was like a bruise that ached, that no one could see, but I could feel when something triggered a memory of her and then I would feel this intense pain like sensation and it would wear off as soon as my mind had something it had to tend to.

But then I met Lisa, and somehow she managed to unknowing ease the pain, and now I can think of Marion without the feeling of that intense pain in my heart. Lisa brought to my life a sense of direction, a sense of purpose. It's not that I don't think of Marion or sometimes of Lyndy. I do but now I can look upon those memories without feeling the grief. I look back at them and am thankful to have had those memories with them but it's almost like watching an old movie that you loved, its nice to go back and get caught up and relive those moments on occasion but you don't want to replay it everyday. It had its place and time, now I want to create new memories and more importantly I want to live to create those memorable times with someone special. Lisa somehow managed to do all that for me unknowingly.

She has brought so much to my life in such a short space of time. She makes me want to live, to explore life and what's still on offer. Getting up everyday is no longer a chore, it's an experience I no longer wish to cease. I honestly don't know, how I fell so hard and fast for Lisa. One moment I was going about my life, trudging along and then all of a sudden, I was both, unexpectedly and instantaneously, enthralled by this radiant beauty with her mesmerising sparkling light blue sapphire eyes that beckoned me further into those mysterious depths, enchanting me. I've never been the same since that day. Until I met Lisa, I hadn't believed in the sentimentality of love at first sight. But with just one look, she had me hooked faster than a bucking bronc that throws its rider. That look, was less then eight seconds but it felt like an eternity and I was hooked. What I didn't anticipate was that she would notice, this old cowboy or that she'd find anything in me worth exploring or having.

I thought I was imagining all those subtle little cues she was sending my way. I was pretty damn sure I was imaging it or was giving it more credence then it merited. I remember Mallory informing me that Lisa was flirting with me. I was astounded and beyond thrilled. I was taken aback by Lisa's interest me. She was younger than Marion for god-sake. Why she would be interested in an old cowboy like me was beyond my comprehension. But she made it a point to enjoy my company in any capacity. Whether it be, pancakes with the family or taking me to a horse auction with her. She never failed to make sure, I knew she wanted my company. I was thrilled and I couldn't help myself and decided what was the harm in having fun with her while she was still interested in me, and before the novelty of me, wore off on her. But it was always more than that to me and obviously to her.

She didn't care about my age and what people thought, about us. I didn't either, the only thing that worried me was what people would think of her. I worried what I could offer her and more importantly, what I would be depriving her off. She's young, vital, beautiful and has the world at her feet and I'm an old cowboy on his way towards the pasture. I couldn't saddle her with me, I had to let her go, no matter how much it would rip me apart. My only regret is leading her on for as long as I did and crossing a line I vowed, I would never cross with her. To have met Lisa and to have had her adorn my life, even for a short time was more than I'd ever dreamed. But no dream lasts forever, not even an inimitable dream that was ordained by the galaxy of stars, which frequent the Heartland skies eternally.

* * *

I will try to post as soon as I have something.

Thank you for reading.

All those that reviewed, thank you and much appreciated. All suggestions welcome, if it fits into my story I will try to incorporate it, if possible.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: This is rapidly written but it been just over a month since I last posted a chapter, I just wanted to put something out for you guys who've been** **waiting. Unfortunate work delay with** **the accompanying traveling commitments got in the way of my writing. Please bear with me, I hope the next one will be sooner. Thank you all for your patience and reviews which are much appreciated. Feedback welcome. Thank you for reading.  
**

* * *

Fairfield Stables - Barn

Never thought that I would have fallen so deeply in love with Jack so quickly. There was that instant attraction the first time I laid my eyes on him, there is no doubt about that. Those brooding good looks on top of the exquisite ruggedly handsome thing he had going for him was more than I had ever anticipated I'd find in Hudson let alone anywhere else. The thing about Jack is he has the muscular physique of a man's man, the rugged appeal, the exquisite facial features accompanied with that gravely voice that has the ability to melt your bones which makes him devastatingly irresistible. But Jack doesn't see himself that way. I don't know why but he doesn't seem to know the appeal he holds for the opposite sex. He doesn't know how many woman in Hudson would like to have a crack at making a relationship with him work or just to have fun in a carnal sense. Val Stanton if she had it her way would be the next Mrs. Jack Bartlett. She definitely has a thing for him, but I can't fault her for that because I know Jack is the type of man that is rare to find in this world. Both Val and I have been all over the world but we both somehow have thing for the same man. That should tell you that Jack is quite something to behold.

I keep on recalling the 'Dear John Note' Jack left for me last week. I still feel numb, I feel lost without him to anchor me. In the short time we've come to know one another I've become rather dependent on Jack in a certain way. His always there to lend an ear or accompany me to the race track or an auction or to wind the day down with. I've probably scared him away by being too needy. I guess I was too overwhelmed by everything he had to offer and didn't have the foresight to censor myself. It's a lesson I know I must learn. I need to be more independent, less emotionally needy, less needy all around. Well, I guess I now have all the time in the world to learn self control after Jack dumped me.

Dumped me. Really Lisa, what were you thinking? Obviously he dumped me, I pressured him into making our relationship more intimate. I knew he didn't want to be intimate with me but I craved it and he relented and allowed me to have my way but at what cost. The cost of a relationship that could have been so much more than either one of us ever dreamed.

Jack has made me soft, I have to admit. He has made me soft enough to be vulnerable, to be able to let down my guard and became too emotional, too dependent on him for my peace of mind. He compassion, his attentiveness, his gentleness, his thoughtfulness is what made me soft and lead me to the vulnerability that made me needy. I need to stop looking for someone to comfort me. I an adult for God's sake, why do I need anyone to do that for me. I should be able to provide myself with all of those needs. I shouldn't have imposed upon Jack that way. I can see why he would run away as fast possible from some clingy needy woman who can't take care of her own emotional needs.

God my head so messed up right now. I feel all of this but I also know that when Jack and I are together everything just feels right. I think in an odd sort of way we compliment each to some degree. Also there is no doubting the chemistry we have between us. It's natural and at the same time exhilarating, sometimes to saviour, something challenging, something to look forward to or so I thought. Jack is a wonderful man, his a straight arrow and once you get to know him you'll realise full of love for all the things that mean something in his life, Heartland, his cows and most importantly his family. I thought maybe I could be a nanoscopic part of that affection and have a place in his life somehow but I know I was kidding myself. Jack would never fall for a woman like me the best I could have hoped for was a fond appreciation based mutual respect. I know I was peeved when he mentioned we could be friends but I think the physical chemistry we have would have to include a friends with benefits sort of friendship. Otherwise we'd be too high strung to be a round each other without the physical contact we inadvertently bestow upon each other when together.

I need ride to clear my head. Mental gymnastics after our breakup is more then I can handle right now. I can't sleep even if I do my dreams are of Jack and of the night we spent together. A dream that leaves me frustrated and on the verge of tears because it always ends with Jack leaving me and with me knowing that I wasn't enough for him. It confuses me because I know Jack was satisfied in the pure physical sense and he was dominant taking what he needed to fulfil his needs but I don't know if it was me or a carnal physical need Jack needed to scratch. Finally I manage to get my horse all tacked and ready for the ride, I'm in desperate need off to clear my mind.

* * *

Heartland

"Okay, so something definitely happened between Jack and Lisa," Mallory tells Ty.

"What gave it away? Jack's black mood or Lisa not calling the house or coming around this week," Ty sarcastically remarks to Mallory with amusement.

"Ha….ha, you know Ty, sometimes I don't know why I bother talking with you," she exasperatingly lets him know.

"You know Mallory, sometimes I do wonder about that too. It takes up hours of my time trying to figure it out, sometimes days," Ty mockingly jests her.

"Whatever! You know we have to do something right? Otherwise, Jack will either stroke out or one of us will be in Montana after he gives us an ass kicking."

"Are you crazy Mallory? Did you fall of your horse and hit your head?" Ty asks her.

"What? No! Off course I didn't, Mr. 'I need private lessons where nobody can see me' Borden."

"Then why are you proposing something so crazy Mallory. Getting involved in Jack's personal life is a big fat red flag, a definite no. In fact a capital 'N' and a Capital 'O'. I'll be back in jail, before the barn door hits me on the ass, on my way out after Jack has evicted me and kicked my ass," Ty dramatically tells her.

"No need to be so melodramatic, Ty. But I guess you're right, Jack would be pretty pissed if we meddled with this thing between him and Lisa."

"Yeah, he would Mallory. Also I think Jack deserves the right to privacy to deal with whatever's going on in his own way."

"I guess you're right. I just hate seeing him so sad, so miserable and tormented. Lisa really made him happy, Ty. I just want Jack to be happy. He looks after all of us, it would be nice if he had someone to look after him and be there for him. Lisa is perfect for him for him Ty. I just don't want him to mess things up."

"I want Jack to be happy too, Mallory. Jack's the only person to ever believe in me and give me a chance." Ty sincerely lets Mallory know that he understands where she is coming from.

Ty finally processes what Mallory alluded to and sceptically ask her, "And, how do you know Jack is the one that messed things up?"

"It's always the guys fault," Mallory rolls her eyes alluding to the fact everyone should know this by now.

"Off course it is," he sarcastically appraises her with a mock expression. "You would say that Mallory. You are a girl."

"Anyway, think about this logically. Think of 'Jack' and now think of 'Lisa'. There is no way a woman like 'Lisa Stillman' would be at fault. She's smooth and class personified. Jack on the….," Ty interrupts her before she finishes.

"Yeah, yeah Jack on the other hand is 'Jack'. I see your point Mallory. But it doesn't matter we can't get involved."

"It totally sucks, Ty. I could help Jack out giving him really good advice about how to patch up whatever bone headed thing he did."

"You could but you won't. Right Mallory. Right Mallory," Ty imploring asks her waiting for and affirmative answer.

"Right. I guess we will have to leave it up to the Gods. Who knows how long that will take. But you're right, Jack would kill us if we tried to get involved," a dejected Mallory states.

* * *

Heartland - Porch

All the kids are out for most of the evening gone to Maggies for a night out. Actually gone to Maggies so they don't have to put up with my gloomy mood would be more accurate. It's a been a crapy day, to be honest it's been crappy week. Overhearing Ty and Mallory conversation about my mood in its entirety was almost illuminating. Mallory got it right that I was definitely the one at fault. She's also perceptive enough as is Ty that Lisa would be the very last person you'd blame conflict on as she is extremely accommodating. In fact I don't like that she puts so much of herself on the line. Lisa needs to protect herself from people especially from people like me. People who take but give very little in return. What Mallory doesn't understand is that Lisa deserves so much more than I give her. She can definitely give me everything I need but the other way around I'll fall too short and she deserves better. She doesn't just deserve better she deserves the best.

I don't know what I expected but this feeling that has settled upon me, makes me nauseas day in and day out, it was something I didn't expect at all. I also didn't expect to still feel this insane need to see and be with Lisa to be so all consuming. I though maybe my need to be in her presence would start to fade even a little by now. But the only thing my ending things with Lisa did was to intensify my need for her even more. That she hasn't pitched up at Heartland to slap me across the face is a miracle in itself. After what I did to her, I would expect no less. But I should have known better, Lisa is not like any other woman I've known or know. She's in a 'class' that most people don't even know exists. A 'class' I didn't know existed until I met her and got to know her.

I can only imagine what she must think of me. How hurt and betrayed she must feel. Oh God, what a mess! I know I thought it was a mistake to be intimate with her before I broke it off with her. But after going an entire week of not seeing her or hearing her voice, I'm glad that I did. During the light of day I may not be able to see or hear Lisa's voice. But at night in my dreams, I get to be with her in every sense of the word and for that I will be eternally grateful. To have known her that way, to have had her, to have made her mine for just one night is something I don't ever wish to take back.

Lisa brought out a side of me I didn't even know I had. That all consuming need to take her like an animal in heat was an existential experience. The need to mark her, brand her, to make her mine was an intrinsic compulsion that has been brewing under the surface from the first day we met. That I can admit to. But the dominant, assertive animalistic nature of what I took from her still confounds me. To be perfectly honest I can't find it in myself be feel any guilt over the way I made Lisa mine. What I am is disconcerted that I have these intense overwhelming needs when it comes to Lisa. I don't understand how I can be both disconnected and reassured at the same time. Lisa ability to create these dynamically opposite emotions within me simultaneously is both terrifying and self-assuring and somehow strangely validates my masculinity. Being with Lisa has somehow triggered something so primitive and so primordial within me that I don't know if I have in me to prevent it from consuming me without abandon.


	15. Chapter 15

I'm in my office at dawn up to speed on everything already that's going on at Fairfield and with the horses in my stables. I hear a knock on my door and lift my head to see Harry my right hand man. "Oh… Hello, come in Harry," I tell him. "You know I've told you many millions of times that you don't have to knock," I admonish him sincerely.

"And as I've said many millions of times, that won't be happening," Harry counters.

"What can I do for you Harry? You usually doing your rounds at the stables at this time. So, lets have it whats brought you to my humble abode so early," I enquire with curiosity.

"To be honest I've been getting complaints from the Fairfield staff," Harry vaguely notifies me.

"I don't understand, Harry. What about? because everything seems to going as smoothly as it can around here," I state in confusion to Harry.

"Apparently the staff are worried they going to be let go because a the owner has taken it upon herself to do some of their chores. By the time they get there it's been done already. They're wondering if they're not meeting your standards," he enquires with puzzlement.

"No, nothing of the sort Harry. You can put their minds at ease on that front. I just have excess energy to burn and those tasks were just the things I needed to help me the last week," I tell Harry making sure he knows that he can truthfully ease the staffs minds about their job security.

"I've noticed the excess energy as you put it. Also noticed the free time you suddenly have on your hands, especially since you haven't ventured to a certain ranch this last week to wind-down," Harry perceptively remarks.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Harry," Lisa try to evade.

"Lisa I've know you all your life. You seem off balance, restless, agitated if I have to be honest," Harry states to me with acute observation.

"You're reading too much in things," I try to deflect.

"You know I don't think I am. Come think of it, the last time I saw Jack there was that same agitation and he was definitely off balance."

"Just, what do you mean by that?" I ask confusingly.

"It means something happened between you two, because he almost took someones head off, literally," Harry is all to happy to inform me.

"Jack doesn't do bar fights or any fights for that matter," I state confidently to him.

"I don't know what to tell you but he almost chocked some poor sap to death and clocked someone because they made a lewd comment about you. And don't tell that's why he did it. Because his probably experienced worse or at least the same while the two of you have been going out. He would have decked someone those other times, if was inclined to but he didn't so that means something happened to make him off balance this time to lash out the way he did, " Harry smartly deduces.

"Is Jack okay?" I ask with concern.

"His fine Lisa. He knows how to hold his own. He can take care of himself you don't have to worry about that," he tells me reassuringly.

"What do you mean he held his own? Did he have to go to the hospital and why are you just getting around to telling me this," I state with frustration and annoyance at not knwing Jack might be hurt.

"No, he didn't need a hospital. His knuckles will heal nothing to be alarmed about," Harry tells me to calm me down. "As to why I didn't tell you before this? I thought you would have found out from Jack when you saw him again," he imparts to me with a look calculatingly.

I put my head down not knowing what to say.

"What happened Lisa? I'm here if you need to talk," Harry lets me know.

"There is nothing to talk about. He broke up with me," I tell him simply.

"What? Why? I thought you guys were good," Harry replies in shock.

"Yeah, so did I."

"He was real good for you Lisa, the other men previously in your life have absolutely nothing on him."

"I know. But I guess I'm not the type of woman Jack sees himself with. From what I hear I'm nothing like his wife nad that's probably the tyoe of woman Jack finds appealing and worth the effort," I state honestly to him.

"Lisa Jack went out with you, for you who are. I don't think he expects you to be like his late wife. There has be something else," Harry says with a sense of bafflement.

"He thinks his too old for me and that I'm too young for him," I whisper almost to myself but Harry catches it.

"You know normally I would have had the same outlook Lisa. If it were any other man, other than Jack, I would be more then glad it didn't work out. But Jack is a rare type of man, the type of man that is a perfect fit you," Harry remarks with conviction.

"I know Jack is a perfect fit for me. But am I the perfect fit for him? He clearly doesn't think so," I relate to Harry.

"So, what are you going to do about it," Harry asks bluntly.

"Excuse me," I say with incredulity.

"You heard what I said Lisa, what are you going to do about it?"

"He dumped me Harry. There is nothing I can do about it."

"Lisa Stillman you have never given up on anything without a fight."

"There is nothing to fight about Harry. Jack made a decision and I need to respect it."

"No, Lisa you need to make Jack see the stupidity of his reasoning."

"He knows exactly how much I want a relationship with him. I've made it abundantly clear to him. He needs to decide, if what we have is worth pursuing for the future."

"Lisa a man like Jack Bartlett would not have kept on going out with you, if he didn't think what you had toghther was worth it."

"He broke up with me Harry. Isn't that indication enough that he doesn't think what we have is worth it."

"No, Lisa it isn't an indication. He only broke up with you because he thinks his too old for you. If you truly don't think that, then you need to convince him of that."

"I already tried and failed, Harry."

"Lisa when you put your mind to something, I've never seen anybody able to stop you from accomplishing your goal. If you want Jack, fight for him. If you don't fight for what you want, who will Lisa?"

"I don't know if I can do this. Jack needs to want this as much as I do, otherwise it won't work."

"Okay, promise me you'll at least think about it."

"Okay Harry, I will promise and only because you are the only man in my life to always be there for me and guide me through all the pain and heartache I've been through," I reveal to him.

* * *

"Where is grandpa?" Lou asks Amy as she enter the ranch house.

"I don't know, I thought he'd be back by now," Amy lets Lou know.

"I don't like not knowing what grandpa is doing? Lou tells Amy.

" Me too, but we'll have to come to terms with it if he starts seeing Lisa again after their fight dies down," Amy says defeated.

"How do you know it was a fight," Lou asks with curiosity, trying to glean bit of information about whats going on with her grandpa.

"Just guessing that's what happened. I never thought grandpa would date and you know have a woman his life," Amy says with surprise.

"Yeah, me too it kinda feels weird sometimes. I mean it was funny and cute the first time they went to that auction together but it was also unsettling," Lou states honestly.

"I know what you mean, it was funny and cute as you said but also like, whoa! Grandpa's not including us in his decision. Like we're been left out.," Amy says with a frown.

"Exactly, which doesn't make us jealous like Ty and Mallory think. They don't understand that grandpa is ours and we deserve to have a say with who he chooses to socialize with especially if it involves ahmm… mmm … ahmmm a lady friend. Even if he doesn't think we have that right."

"It's weird because I didn't ever think grandpa and Lisa Stillman would ever have anything in common," a baffled Amy expresses.

"Plus the whole age gap thing. Lisa is closer to my age than to grandpa's. It's just weird," Lou adds with disconcert.

"Yeah, it's weird. Lisa's more upper east side and grandpa's, just grandpa. I don't understand how a relationship between them came to be in the first place," Amy wonders thinking Lou might have some insight.

"Believe me Amy I've been racking my head trying to figure that out. But I guess they were getting close because Ben was staying with us because honestly I can't see how Lisa and Grandpa would ever be in the same social circles."

"Lou you forgetting grandpa doesn't have a social circle or do social," Amy deadpans making both her and Lou laugh.

"Grandpa and Lisa are already the talk of town. I don't like all this attention that's on our family and I'm sure he doesn't either. That's why I don't understand why he would do this," Lou gallingly utters.

"Yeah, the gossip spread faster than fire in barn full of hay as grandpa would say."

"Val must be pissed, you know she's always had a thing for grandpa for as long as I can remember."

"I wouldn't want to be grandpa when she comes around. She will be hell to deal with," Amy says amusement.

"Grandpa's been a bear to be with Amy, ever since his alleged fight with Lisa, I don't know how much more I can take?" Lou informs Amy with exasperation.

"I know what you mean. I wish he would just get over it," Amy pronounces callously.

"Maybe this will make him realise that Lisa and him are incompatible," Lou proclaims with hope.

"Yeah, that it was a mistake and doesn't need her. He was happy being the way he was," Amy proclaims as well.

* * *

I've always loved the view from the porch but I can't seem to muster the wonder for it. I miss Lisa. I don't just miss Lisa, I miss her, miss her. I feel this coldness inside of me without her. I've kept looking up the drive hoping to see her SUV driving towards the house since. I wonder what she's doing? I wonder how much she must detest me after what I did? I wonder if she dreams of me? I wonder if she dreams of that night? I wonder if she misses me half a much as I miss her? I wonder if some young buck has already won her over?

I had this great expectation that my heart would feel lighter once I set her free of me. I know that's what I had to do because I'm far too old for her. But it doesn't mean something isn't missing from deep in my heart. It doesn't mean it feels right. It doesn't mean that I don't feel something's wrong and absent from my heart. I know something's missing inside of me, something I can't find in the day, something I can't find in the night, something I can't find in anytime or anyplace because what I'm missing is Lisa.

When I think of Lisa ,I see the face of my salvation, eyes so god damn beautiful that it shines like the brightest star the universe has to offer. Eyes that hold some much in them that it would take more than an eternity to explore and to treasure. I lie awake at night wishing she was mine. I'm sitting here holding the biggest heartache in town.

Thinking about her, I get weak in the knees and lose my breath. I try to move on without her but I'm sacred to death of what's ahead without her in my life. When she smiles my world turns upside down, I feel so helpless but in a way that comforts me and soothes my heart. But now I only have the memories to keep me company. I 've set her free but I've become a prisoner of loneliness.

* * *

Sleep eludes me just like every other night since that day. I wonder if Jack thinks about me. I hope he wakes wanting me, I hope when he can't go back to sleep that he'll change his mind. I hope when his alone and reaching for the phone, he'll change his mind. I hope he'll look back with regret the moment he left because if that changes his mind, I'll blindly follow him to the depths of forever and more. I hope he knows there's still a chance to make it right and that I'm the only one he wants tonight and every tomorrow. I hope with every morning haze my kiss is all he'll crave and it will somehow make him cave and be brave enough to change his mind and come back to me, to explore 'whatever this is'. Please, Jack, give us a chance.

* * *

 **Thank you all for reading and taking time review. All feedback welcome.**


	16. Chapter 16

Maggie's

I've just given my feed order to Maggie. Whilst waiting I decide to get a coffee only to meet Val who joins me at a table to catch up while we have our coffee.

I don't know why I feel this pull to stop over at Maggie's for coffee. I don't want to be around anyone but I give into this crazy compulsion, after all my meeting at a place not to far from here is concluded. But it's just my luck that I run into Dan outside Maggie's, who then decided to join me so we can talk a little business as he put it. I try to find a table at the window which thank god is available. I simply want to get this over with as quickly as possible but need the comings and going of people outside to get me through my conversation with Dan. There's something keeping me from blowing Dan off and getting back to Fairfield.

In walks Lisa with Dan Hartfield, she hasn't noticed me as I'm in the corner and a few people are milling about blocking her view of me. My heart rate speeds up and I feel like it's going to jump out of my chest. Val, thank god hasn't noticed since her back is facing the entrance and focused on filling me in on something that obviously holds no interest to me as I'm distracted by Lisa. God, she looks beautiful. I'm glad she hasn't noticed me, I can take all of her in without being noticed. I feast my eyes on her like a man having been granted the experience of sight for the first time in his life. Her blonde tresses cascading down her shoulders, her bosom barely restrained in her shirt. Those mesmerizing beautiful blue eyes can be seen sparkling even from this distance. I wish I could spend the rest of my life gazing into their depths, until I drown into them becoming engulfed by them ensuring that it keeps me captivated until the end of forever.

The waitress takes our orders while Dan fills me in on this new horse he wants us look at which he thinks will be good for business. I try my best to focus on Dan's words but I can't muster the effort to be bothered it seems. I finally give into this force that compels me to look at the far end of the diner. I try extremely hard to concentrate on Dan's words but I can't resist this pull. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a familiar muscular frame, a cowboy hat that I'd know anywhere. My eyes coming to rest on those familiar tender, soothing green eyes in surprise.

Even with the distance between us, I can feel our breathing is in sync. Our eyes burn into each greedily taking in all that we can before I break the link that has both of us spellbound. I turn away from Lisa to break this link we are both somehow tethered to. Otherwise, I would no doubt have to walk up to her and kiss her for all I'm worth. Val hasn't noticed my inattention and for that I'm grateful, beyond belief because I don't care to explain what's happened between me and Lisa. Why is she here with Dan? It's barely been a week and she and Dan already seem cosy. Out of all the people she could be with, why does it have to be Dan of all people? His not right for her, he is the last thing she needs.

Thank god, Dan is still prattling on about this horse he wants us to buy. It saves me from participating in the conversation and has not alerted him to Jack's presence. I'm glad Jack broke us out of that spell because I have no desire to go into any of that with Dan of all people. I make sure to keep my gaze away from Jack. I just need Dan to finish so I can get out of here.

Finally, Val has nothing more to say or rather stopped to catch her breath, before she starts up again, I let her know that I need to get going. Just as we get up from our table, I notice Lisa and Dan have finished up as well. Both Val and Dan move toward the counter to get something they've ordered to go. Lisa and I stare at each other across the room paralysed. Val and Dan quickly collect their orders coming over to say their respective goodbyes. As that happens we somehow all bump into each other in the middle of the diner. Val greets Lisa and Dan does what Dan does best, offers a polite 'Jack'. Both Lisa and I respond in kind to both of them.

"It was nice to catch up Jack, I'll leave you to Lisa, I'm sure you two have plans," Val states and leaves quickly.

"Let me know about the horse, Lisa," Dan remarks to Lisa, giving me a curt nod with a ,"Jack" as a way of a goodbye which I'm sure is only for Lisa's benefit.

If it weren't so gut-wrenchingly painful, it would be funny that neither Val or Dan noticed the shell-shocked countenance between me and Lisa. Lisa and I just stand in the middle of the diner not knowing how to proceed. Lisa ever gracious politely recovers with a, "Hi Jack".

I on the hand can barely get out a, "Hi Lisa," with my mouth dry and my mind shot to pieces at our chance meeting in a public place.

Lisa shakes out her head to clear her thoughts before politely stating, "I hope you keeping well Jack," to which I have no reply as I'm staggered at her lack of scorn for me after what I did to her. Before I can compute any type of response she adds rather quickly, "I need to get going. It was nice bumping into you." She briskly leaves the diner heading towards her vehicle. Feeling like such a louse, I follow her out to her vehicle unbeknownst to her.

"Lisa wait, please," I call after her as I reach her before she opens the door.

A disturbed Lisa whirls around in state of shock at my sudden appearance. "Jack….", is all she can say in confusion as I can see her struggling to figure out what I could possibly want from her.

"Can I just say something," I earnestly get out before I lose my nerve.

"Sure," she robotically voices.

"I'm sorry about how awkward all this is," I say pointing between us and at Maggie's and our uncomfortable encounter. "I sorry for leaving the way I did and for the way I ended things," I finally get out by way of apology for how I broke things of with her.

"But you're not sorry for leaving, are you?" Lisa states getting straight to the heart of the matter. After the silence continues from my end she proceeds adding, "You're not sorry for ending things either, are you."

Lisa waits for an answer but I stay silent because I don't know how to answer her without causing more heartache for the both of us.

"Your silence speaks volumes Jack," Lisa remarks with an air of defeat. "I guess that's the sum total of all you have to say me," Lisa's voice laced with so much pain it feels like a knife through my heart. She quickly gets into to the vehicle, avoiding any eye contact as she backs out of her parking spot moving out of my sight and out of life.

* * *

Later at Heartland Ranch

"These are the wrong tools, Ty. How do you expect me to get this done, if you don't bring me the correct tools?" Jack bellows at me bashing the tool at the log in a rage.

"I don't know which other tools you want Jack. But I'll get whatever is left in the quonset hut," I remark sarcastically to him, with just a bit of venom.

I make way to the quonset hut and make sure to a take breather from Jack's belligerent outbursts. He has been an absolute nightmare this afternoon. He wasn't a picnic to deal with last week or this morning but I 'd even take that at the moment. I swear to god the thoughts I'm having about what I'm going to do to Jack the next time he goes of at me, will have me in jail faster than a crack head on cocaine can snort a line of coke.

"Ty, where the hell are you with the god damned tools?" Jack roars in anger at me.

Please god you know I don't ask for a lot. In fact, I don't pray or ask for anything but I'm asking you now, please find a way to cool Jack off before I lose my patience and do somethng stupid. "This was the last of them, Jack," I inform him making sure he knows there are no more tools in there to help with the task at hand.

"Don't simply stand around Ty. Lets do this from scratch again and hope it works, otherwise we'll both be out here all night," Jack gruffly pronounces.

"I've got plans for tonight. No way I'm staying out here to do this with you," I angrily spit out at Jack. "Just because you don't have a….." I almost get out at Jack before he interrupts.

"Just because what, Ty? Jack threateningly interrupts, wanting me to voice exactly what I think.

"Nothing, Jack," I grit out. Apparently I'm not as stupid as I used to be. A couple a months ago, I definitely would have goaded him and got myself kicked off the ranch.

* * *

Outside the Heartland Barn

Mallory, Ty, Lou and Amy heading out to the party later that evening.

"You gonna make us late, Ty," Amy scolds him.

"Don't blame me Amy, blame Jack. If we didn't fix that bloody rail at the far pen, I would still be out there with that tyrant that has possessed Jack," Ty lets all of them know of his frustration with Jack.

"I know what you mean, Ty. I don't want to come to Heartland anymore because Jack's been such a bear to around. I don't ever remember him being this out of sorts. His just angry all the time with everyone," Mallory expresses what they'll all thinking.

"I don't know how much more of his sullen moods I can take?" Lou expresses as well.

"I don't know if the silence is better or the anger bubbling over and lashing out at us is better," Amy voices to them contemplating the two options.

"The silence is better," Ty, Mallory and Lou get out simultaneously looking at Amy wondering why she is remotely considering the anger as the lesser of the two evils.

"He and Lisa need to make up," Mallory states. " Otherwise, we'll all end up dead or one of us will end up killing him," Mallory utters her concern for the way things are going at the moment.

"I wish they'd hurry about it, because I'm the one that Jack rips a new one off everyday, many times day I might add," Ty complains to them.

"If his not going to get over this then I want him to make up with Lisa. I can't live with him when his this way, his entirely uncooperative about every single thing," Lou tells them in exasperation of her troubles with Jack.

"Yeah, I can't get anything done either. His unbearable, making our lives miserable in the process. If his going to remain this way indefinitely, I'm all for him making up with Lisa," Amy lets the others know.

"So, lets come up with a plan," Ty states to the others now that they're all on the same page.

"I thought you said we shouldn't interfere, Ty," Mallory reminds him of their previous conversation which he was adamant not to be involved with what was going on with Jack and Lisa.

"We're not going to meddle directly Mallory. Jack would kill us," Ty states with certainty to the rest of them.

"Then how do you suppose we het them back on track?" Mallory looks to Ty for answers.

"But what we can do is make sure that Jack has plenty of time to sort through his feelings about whatever is going on between them."

"Meaning he isn't distracted by ranch work," Lou catches on and clarifies for the others.

"That's a great idea, Ty," Amy approving tells Ty.

"How are we going to do this?" Lou asks ready to get things moving as soon as possible so life at Heartland can get back to normal.

"We have to do all the things Jack would do, from the time he gets up until he sleeps, on top of doing all of our chores. If we manage to accomplish this, it will give Jack the time he needs to sort out his feelings and most importantly to figure out how to make amends with Lisa," Ty informs them of his plan to get things back to normal at Heartland for all of their sanity.

"It won't be easy, but I'm willing to try anything," Mallory declares to all of us.

"Count me in, I'm on board if this is what it takes to get grandpa back to his normal self," Lou adds in willing do anything to get things back on an even keel at Heartland.

"Me too, guys. If getting back with Lisa will make life easier for us and this is the way to make it happen then I'm for it," Amy voices her consent as well.

"We'll draw up a roaster tonight after the party. We'll get started on this tomorrow so we can't be back too late," Ty added putting the plan into motion.

"One early night is better then a lifetime of this misery we are all living at the moment Ty," Amy remarks to Ty expressing what they all feel knowing the sacrifice will be worth it if this works.

* * *

Heartland Ranch Porch

Thank god all the kids are out of the house for some party or the other. I'm not in a state of mind to be around anyone right now. Drinking has never been my way of dealing with things but tonight I'm trying it nonetheless. I need something to dull the pain of this afternoons encounter. I'm half a bottle down but the pain won't subside. Seeing Lisa in the flash today was something I wasn't prepared for. I knew that we would cross paths at some stage but I hadn't anticipated for it to be so soon after our split. I also hadn't anticipated for her to be with Dan Hartfield, a man I detest more then I ever say.

Lisa looked like she always does, effortlessly classy and drop dead gorgeous without trying to be. It's inherent in her something I know she not aware of. And those gorgeous mermerzing sparkling blue eyes of hers that makes you want to traverse the ends of the universe to merely catch a glimpse of its untouched mysterious depths. I couldn't take my eyes of off her when she walked in. That I had an opportunity to gaze at her unknown for a time, is something I am grateful for. I have been like a man dying of thirst needing just a drop to not only sustain me but to resurrect my fading life force. I had to turn away from those mesmerising eyes. They're an addiction for me, the longer I gaze into them, the more I want her and today was no exception. If I didn't break that link that seem to tether us, I would have walked up to her, pulled her into my arms and kissed her until we were both breathless and in need of much needed air.

I hope she and Dan and not trying to get back together because he is no way good for her. She needs, things that a man like Dan cannot offer her. Please god don't let Dan be the man she turns to for comfort. That I couldn't bear, that will have me on a warpath with the world because of the injustice of all that is good and holy. She can't be with Dan? I know I told her, I was too old for her, but she's god damn too good for him, no matter his age. Dan Hartfield doesn't deserve a woman like Lisa, never has and never will. I finish the entire bottle but still all I feel is this pain ripping through me.

* * *

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	17. Chapter 17

It's been a week since my encounter with Lisa. For some reason I have more time than usual because everything at Heartland seems to be taking care of itself. I don't have the mental capacity to try and figure out how that is even possible. My mind and my heart are still reeling from the agonising encounter with Lisa. It was painful on every level for the both us which makes it worse. I don't want Lisa to hide away after out brief relationship. I want her go out and find someone that will be able to give her everything she deserves in life. Although it will be excruciating for me it's something that I can live with, I keep telling myself. As long as Dan Hartfield is not the man that she thinks can give her everything she needs.

Because I know Dan is not the man for her. He had his chance with her and obviously didn't know how to make Lisa happy. He didn't know what she needed and I know for a fact he doesn't know now. All he wants is Lisa to be his trophy, someone that he can parade around, someone that can give him the air of class, respectability and envy, someone he can use for all the things he needs. That is what Lisa doesn't need, she needs someone to be there for her, someone to take care of her, someone to love her, someone to give her all the things she deserves. Dan most definitely cannot give her those things and neither can I. I don't have the luxury of making Lisa my only priority, I have other obligations and they will at times supersede what is best for her. I can't have that, I won't let her sacrifice herself that way anymore. She has done that all her young life put herself second and allowed everyone else's needs to be met before hers. I can't let that happen to her again, she deserves more, she deserves better, in fact she deserves the best. If I were twenty years younger and my obligations were minor I would not let her go, it wouldn't even enter the realms of my mind, I would fight for her and make her mine forever.

Doesn't she understand the ridicule she will have to endure by being in a relationship with me? Not, merely from outsiders but from family and people we both know. How will things work in long run? Will I be able to keep up with a young woman like Lisa? Will I keep her from experiencing a more exciting life? Will I be able to satisfy a young woman the way a man needs to? Will she come to resent me when I can't be the man she needs me to be for her? There are more negatives to us being in a relationship in the long run than there a positives. I don't want her not to live her life, I don't want her to settle for less than she deserves, I don't want her to put her needs and wants off to appease me or anyone else.

* * *

"Grandpa, don't forget tomorrow you need to be at the rodeo?" Amy reminds me.

"I'm not going Amy, I'm in no mood to be around people," I tell Amy in case she hasn't picked up on that fact which is highly unlikely.

"Grandpa you were entered as on of the participants for the unknown event or events?"

"You can do it, Amy."

"No, grandpa I can't, its open for those not competing in rough stock events," Amy informs me.

"I not going to be there Amy, because I will not be attending. Best you let the rodeo event planners know" I tell her sternly.

"You have to be there grandpa, that event is for charity and whoever wins it will get to choose his or her favourite charity for the proceeds to go to."

"That's great Amy but I don't see how it's imperative that I go since the money will still go somewhere it's needed, anyway" I tell her making sure she knows I will not be attending because it doesn't really affect anything.

"Grandpa every landowner has to have a non competing representative participating. Heartland needs a representative otherwise it will look like we don't care about the plight of horses and their owners."

"Send Ty to represent Heartland after all he does work and live here," I give her an option besides me that should mollify her.

"Ty will break his neck grandpa and while it may not be a pro level events, you will still have to be an accomplished rider to navigate what ever they come with. Ty certainly doesn't fit that bill. You need to be there to represent Heartland."

"Fine, Amy but only because it will damage Heartland's reputation and I don't want that for you," I finally relent.

"You want to ride in with Ty and I," she asks me.

"No, Amy I can get there on my own. Just tell me more or less what time the event I have to compete in will start and I'll make sure I am there for it but nothing else, do you understand me, Amy," I say to her in warning.

"Yes, grandpa," she replies understanding what I'm willing to do.

* * *

I'm going to positively kill, Harry. What made him do such an out of character thing, I will never know. But here I am entering the rodeo event that I have to attend because my right-hand man temporarily lost his mind. He knows I do not do competitions anymore but he decided to sign me up anyway. After last weeks events of meeting Jack, I'm still reeling, trying to learn how not to want him. Trying my damnedest to figure out where I go with my life after him. That's not an easy thing to do since I feel lost without him in my life. I simply feel numb and nothing I do appears to make any difference. What we had and what we were building was something both of us would have found life changing. I want this to be done with, so I can get back to Fairfield.

The place is packed to the rafters. I make my way to the competitors change areas where I'm told I can leave my change of clothes since apparently I will be needing them after the event that I will be participating in. After Harry told me that I literally wanted to strangle him. What kind of event is this going to be if one needs a shower and a full change of clothes. I enter the change rooms and find it segregated into into male and female subsections only separated by white plastic curtains. Won't this be delightful, I guess no harm done we do have separate entrances. Although we will be able hear everything from the other side, this plastic curtain does the job it was meant to. It would be easy enough if one wanted to get to the other side as the curtain panels have nothing binding them, they are simply overlapped over each other to create a continuous white screen. I put my bag containing my change of clothes into the temporary locker I've been assigned and head outside before my event starts.

* * *

What kind of event has Amy signed me up for that has the need for a full body change of clothes. I shake my head stuff my bag into the locker and head out before the event I'm participating in gets on the way. I can't see myself enjoying this at all, all I want to do is get this over with and head back to Heartland.

I walk out into competitors area in the nick of time as the MC starts revving the crowd up for the charity event which means my event.

"Okay, cowgirls and cowboys. Today we have a special treat for all of you. While the prized money events for the pro competitors are what these events are all about, today we definitely have something that might very well rival that. As you all know this next one is for charity. This next events has some of the finest local rodeo stars along with many other accomplished riders participating. To make matters more interesting this year it will be a teamed event. It will work this way folks. Two riders will be teamed up and will be barebacking it on the same horse with one partner always blindfolded over the entire event whose job whenever blindfolded will be to navigate the course thorough the instruction of their partner. This is the first time ever that we are doing this double barebacked, so please give a round of applause to all our competitors for going along with us on this. Okay, folks lets see how the dice rolls and who gets partnered up. Remember it can be an all female team, an all male team or a mixed team."

Amy had better steer clear of me after this. I have to partner up with someone, bareback ride with them on the same horse and take instructions from them. She had better start looking for a place of her own. I had better not be partnered up with Tim or some other pompous asshole.

"Lyle Landry and Kylee Henson, Tim Fleming and Dash Parker, Jack Bartlett and Lisa Stillman, ….."

I don't hear anything else after I hear that I'm partnered with Lisa. To be honest I'm relieved, if I am going to have a partner on horseback I'd choose Lisa. Even though we are not together anymore I'd rather partnered up with her than anybody else. I make my way to the area where our event horses are held. Without knowing what propels me, my head turns and suddenly my eyes are upon those sparkling blue mesmerising eyes. I make my way towards her. It look as if she has already found a horse for us.

"Hey, Jack, I hope you don't mind but I thought this particular paint horse would be an ideal fit for the event and for us. He reminds me a bit of Paint with his temprement," Lisa says to me obviously trying to make sure the awkwardness from last week doesn't prevail upon us right now.

"Hi, Lisa, yeah he seems like the type we need and one that we can find a way to manage," I agree with her. "Lisa, are you sure you are okay with this?" I ask her not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

"Honestly, Jack, Harry should be counting his lucky starts. Because if I had been partnered with anyone else let's just say the next year at Fairfield would have been very, very trying for him," she tells me.

"I know exactly how you feel, I was thinking along the same lines regarding Amy," I get out honestly making sure to let her know I felt the same way.

"But are you sure about this, Jack?" she ask me nervously scared that I might be angry or something.

"Yes, Lise, if I had a choice to choose my own partner, I would've chosen you anyway," I let her know easing her fears.

"Okay, so how are we going to do this Jack," she asks.

"Lise you bareback all the time when you train with your horses, you should be the rider I'll be your eyes."

"Jack, that won't work for some of the things we have to do. You're a master roper, cattle herder and brand expert since you've herded cattle and branded them most of your life," she tells me. As I'm about to reply Tim comes barreling his way into our space.

"You going down old man," Tim tells me. "This will be a cake walk for Dash and I, sorry you drew Jack, Lisa," Tim prattles off making my blood boil.

"I'm not sorry, Tim. I would have chosen Jack anyway, I bet you can't say the same for your partner," Lisa throws back at Tim.

"See you out there. Second place is the best the rest of you can hope for, after all Dash and I got this in the bag," Tim remarks as he leaves.

"We are not losing to Tim Fleming," I tell Lisa.

"No, we won't! Don't worry cowboy, lets go teach him a lesson for you," Lisa tells me as I follow her with our horse to the waiting area where we will be called upon for our chance to compete in the next event.

Lisa and I look at the course and come up with a plan of how we are going to navigate everything in it. It's going to be tricky since one of are always going to be blindfolded and has to rely on the other. The catch is the blinded folded rider has to command the horse, the other rider has to guide the blind folded rider. If the non-blind folded rider commands the horse they will be disqualified.

* * *

Lisa and I are mounted on our horse Dominicus, but we are the only competitors that do the event facing each other. This way Lisa apprises me her body will instinctively push forward up into me and therefore we won't have the issue of the front rider falling off as some of the other competitors had. Those that didn't have that problem did it at a much slower pace to avoid that happening.

She blindfolds me and tells me earnestly, "Trust me." And all of the sudden my every other sense is heightened with her body straddling my legs as she's literally on top of me, the front of her body flush against mine to secure herself to me, so the speed and sharp turn of direction won't throw her from the horse.

"I'm glad I'm doing this with you, I don't trust anyone else not to let you get hurt," my mouth lowers to Lisa's ears as I let her know how grateful I am that we're partnered together.

"Same here cowboy, I won't let you fall either," she tells me.

"You'll feel the pressure of my thighs on yours guiding you on how to navigate the horse. Just respond to my cues, okay," Lisa tells me gently trying to ease my nerves.

" I can do that," I whisper into her ear as I feel her heart pounding just as hard as mine is and that settles my nerves and I can sense it does hers too.

We both wait for the buzzer, I feel Lisa turm her head so that she can see where we're going. The horse is out the gate and we're out of the blocks at a blistering speed, Lisa tells me to ease up as we're nearing the barrel. Soon I feel the pressure of her legs guiding me around the barrel with finesse. We don't fall off as her strategy to mount face to face pays off. As we strategized she doesn't slide off because the she rightly assumed her body instinctively moved forward keeping her from sliding off and allowing us to power through. It works a treat with the other two barrels as well. We get back to the finish line exhilarated and with a sizeable lead over Tim and Dash which has us both grinning like fools.

"You did great Jack," Lisa says to me after we dismount and wait for the next event.

"Lisa you were the one that made that happen. I couldn't see a damn thing. All I did was respond to your cues," I tell her.

"We make a good team," Lisa remarks holding my eyes with those sparkling blue eyes alight with fire in them after our ride.

Something brushes pass me making before I can say anything.

"That's unfair Jack, you guys have that lead because yoou mounted face to face, providing you with a stable dynamic of leverage and gravity."

"You're jealous you didn't come up with it in your own, that's the only reason you're think it's unfair," I tell Tim.

"Well, if I'd had Lisa as a partner I'd have definitely been more motivated to have a creative strategy, and would have come with it like you did."

"Lisa came up with the idea….." Before I can continue he interrupts me.

He splutters shocked and rebukes with a, "aren't you a lucky man, Jack."

Before I'm about to lay into him Dash comes over to call him for the next event.

"He is being and idiot. Please forget about him, lets figure out how we are going to tackle the next event," Lisa remarks.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 18

The next event has Lisa and I roping three cows that are let loose in the area. Tim and Dash did real good on this event. I'm not sure if we can beat their time. For this event Lisa will be blindfolded and I will do the roping and will instruct her on where the horse needs to be for me to rope the cows. We mount our horse Dominicus with Lisa the front rider and me behind her, the difference this time being that it will be the orthodox way with her back to my chest.

"You know I'm right-handed Lise, you're going to have to somehow give me room to swing my roping arm," I tell her not wanting smack her in the head as most of the other competitors did to their partners.

Much to my amusement Tim did this to Dash his partner. Those that did manage to create room for the swing were off balance as they over compensated as a result they could not guide the horse fluidly and had lots of fits and starts to get the horse to be in the exact position to rope.

"I think I got that covered," she smiles a radiant smile at me.

I feel her burrow into the crook of my left shoulder and neck just as she always does when we're cuddling on the couch or on the porch.

"That work for you cowboy," she asks me looking up from there, with the release of her words on her breath, cascading over my jawline and onto my face as the cosiness between us seeps into every crevice within the both of us.

I smirk down at her, my eyes boring into those sparkling blue eyes before remarking, "Always has, I don't see why today should be any different."

I'm handed the blindfold and place it over Lisa's eyes. "You know those beautiful blue eyes of yours should never be covered as they are now. The world is left bereft of their beauty and that is a shame," I let her know softly what is true and what she should never forget. She burrows into me as she usually does indicating she's ready. "You'll feel my thighs, knees and shins guide you along with my voice. My left hand will be settled just along your ribcage for a bit of leverage and balance, okay," I let her know.

"Okay, I'm ready when you are," she notifies me.

With her burrowed into the crook of my left shoulder and neck, I lean down towards her ear asking, "This okay Lise, can you hear me and are you balanced enough."

"This works but you need to tell me when you taking your hand off my ribcage. If you don't I'll be unbalanced and slide off," she reminds me.

"Trust me, I won't forget. I would rather lose to Tim or anybody else then let you fall of this horse," I tell her just before the buzzer goes off.

The cows are all scattered, and as the gate opens for us to start, I guide Lisa with my voice to the far end. Where a cow does not look at all concerned about anything. I cue Lisa with legs to the exact position I need her while my arms already swinging for the rope release. This one is pretty straight forward. I collect my second rope which is attached to the saddle and guide Lisa to next cow who notices us are runs but I guide Lisa to peg it to the fence and rope it easily. Now onto the final cow which is a feisty one that charges at us a few times, the last time has me clutching Lisa almost melding her into my chest, making sure she stays on the horse and is not thrown. But thank god Lisa is able to execute my verbal cues instantaneously and expertly as we avoid a collision course with the cow on these occasions. Finally we manage to peg the cow against a corner and continue with a swift roping. Our time to my surprise is rather quick and we win this round with barely seconds to spare."

We get off Dominicus and give the horse, a nice atta boy because he sure was fantastic at this and not to mention his composure with that last cow charging at us repeatedly before we pinned it down. All three of us Lisa, me and Dominicus make a fine team.

The adrenaline running through our veins coupled with our proximity only heighten the this pull between us.

"If you didn't hold onto me, I would defiantly have been thrown off. Thank you," Lisa tells me as places a kiss on my cheek in gratitude.

"You don't have to thank me, Lise. I told you, I won't let that happen. The only way you'd fall of that horse, was if I was going with you."

"Tim's coming over here," Lisa lets me know as I hear him talking to someone as he makes his way closer.

"What's your complaint now," I ask Tim bluntly knowing he has one.

"You two are too familiar with each, it makes the task that much easier for you guys," Tim says petulantly.

"I don't know if there is any truth to that but there is nothing we can do about that," Lisa remarks to Tim before grabbing my hand and leading me away from him and another confrontation.

* * *

After watching and analysing what would be the most efficient way for us to brand the cows, Lisa and I watch the last of the competitors before making our way to get Dominicus.

We wait at the start gate awaiting our turn which will be soon. We mount up like the previous event. Her in front with her back to me and she will be the one blindfolded again.

"Will this be easier than the roping for you, Jack," Lisa asks me.

"I'm not sure Lise, roping we get to stay quite a few feet back from the calfs which unsettles them less but branding requires us to get a lot closer which leaves room for," I was saying as she interrupts.

"A lot more things to go wrong," she correctly finishes for me.

"It's four calfs and not at all like professional branding. We don't have to rope the calf because here they don't require the calf to be flat on the side before branding. The only things we have to do is go back to the bucket after each calf is branded and make sure the brand is either on the hip or side and after the last calf is branded we have to go back to bucket to leave the iron."

"I guess we can be glad they're not asking both riders to blindfolded otherwise I'm pretty sure we'd get the paint all over ourselves," Lisa remarks with amusement in her voice.

"I don't think that's out of bounds even with the ways things stand, Lise. Although, I have no doubt you'd look adorable with paint splashed all over you," I smile her while telling her.

"If I'm splashed with paint we'd both better be cowboy, otherwise there will be payback," she tells me looking me straight in the eyes with those sparkling blue eyes now alight with mischief.

I laugh out at her warning before asking her, "Ready for the blindfold."

"Ready as I'll ever be, I'm just glad it's not a red-hot branding iron. While I trust you, me not much," she lets me know as I place the blindfold over those beautiful blue eyes.

"If that was the case you wouldn't have to trust yourself, Lise. I trust you enough for the both of us. And before we get going here, I really need to tell you how much I hate the blindfold over your eyes. It should be crime to cover the eighth wonder of the world," I whisper to her with my breath grazing over her ear.

"Don't do that, I need to be on my game, before we go out there."

"You always on your game, this won't be any different and I'm only saying what is true. If you haven't heard it before then this world has a lot to answer for," I tell her just as we about to be sent on.

The buzzer goes off releasing us from the gate. We make our way to the bucket in the middle of the area to collect the iron rod dipped in paint to brand the cow. I guide Lisa to the far end of the area where the calf is doodling at the right hand side corner much to our luck, we make our way there and we peg it with our horse and brand it on the hip. One down three to go as we race back to the bucket for a redip. The next calf runs around the edge of the area, all we do is come up behind it at a trot trying not to scare it which works as we're along side it and I manage to brand it on the side. The next one is harder after having making our back to the bucket the other two young calfs having made their way to each other. Now we need to separate one of them so that we can brand the other or we'll try to just brand one of them if they don't move off as we make our way towards them. One of the calfs bolt and the other tries to make its way past us but we make sure to slowly move it back to a corner and brand it on the side. We race back to bucket and go after the last calf who seems be a hellion. We give chase around until we manage to eventually brand the calf after getting it pegged. We race to the bucket to drop the iron back which stops our time. Which has us in first place by a mere four seconds but a win is a win. Lisa and I take it, I scoop her in my arms and swing her around as we dismount Dominicus feeling absolutely exhilarated. She's as delight as I am as we make our to give Dominicus a treat because his amazing at this.

Lisa leaves me and makes her way to the bathroom. Tim as usual comes up with a complaint of why he didn't win which I simply failed to make a note of as I await Lisa's return.

"Lets go check the jumping course they setting up. Thanks for waiting, I really needed that," she chuckles as she tells me.

We make our way to viewing area for participants taking in the jumping course.

* * *

The jumping course while it may not seem all that difficult by the spectators, really is. The height may not be classified at all high by anyones standards for four of the five jumps with one having water either before and after which may be a quarter of a meter in height only, but bareback, blindfolded rider it is quite difficult to pull of. We can pull out of the jump and trot passed it but that comes with a major time penalty. But lucky for me Lisa is a former olympic rider so I'm pretty sure we have the best chance of doing well or better yet winning then anybody else. This time Tim does have a legitimate complain if we do win. There is no two ways about it. Only stumbling block I can see is, I won't execute Lisa's cues.

But as we look on the other competitors Lisa already starts coaching me on what she'll be trying to convey to me. She makes it easy to take in and we kinda seem like we're been doing this together along time. Obviously this time I'll be in front and blindfolded with my back against Lisa's chest. She is the expert jumper which is a no brainer as to why she needs to be our eyes for timing of the jumps. We only take in one round of the competitors and she wants us to practise with Dominicus for a bit to get him and me accustomed to how we'd be jumping.

"I'm going to be using my hands as well that way you'll feel how much you need to get him to jump. But our Dominicus will do the work for us, so it won't be a problem as long as the timing and our cues are on the mark," Lisa tells me to soothe my anxiety.

She's made a blindfold from my handkerchief for our little practise session she has us doing. With me blindfolded and her behind me with her hands on my thighs guiding me and with her legs doing the same, I'm totally at her mercy and for some reason I feel free and love it. When we're done with the practise session and dismount the horse, I ask which charity would she like us to award the prize winnings too should we win since it is a possibility with our lead although slender but still a lead. She and I have the same idea and want the money to go locally to a charity that is currently helping all the ranch owners after the flood wiped them out.

It's our turn for the final event and after this they'll do the presentation straight after. We mount our horse and she blindfolds me.

"You doing okay, cowboy," she asks me softly with her breath cascading over my ear. I take a deep breath trying to get rid of my nerves.

Lisa pressing her chest into my back, with that I can feel her heartbeat which is nice and rhythmic which my heart sudden takes on. "Easy, follow my lead, trust me and the Dominicus to get you over all the jumps," she whispers to me.

"I trust you, Lise. It's me I am worried about. I don't want to mess up and have you injured."

"I won't let that happen. I'm your eyes, all you have to do is follow my cues, let my voice guide you through. Don't think just feel, and your body will know what to do with my cues," Lisa tells me confidently. "Keep your eyes closed and relax, feel my touch and concentrate on my voice. That's it, breathe, feel my heartbeat let it control your body, let my touch to your thighs and calfs respond and lead you," she gently commands me. "You ready, cowboy?" she asks making sure I'm good to go as I nod my head in the affirmative.

We're on the way nudging my calf to steer me to the first jump, she counts down to zero making it easier for me to know when the jump will be coming up, I feel her heartbeat shift just a bit and feel her touch guide me and my body responds taking her cue as we make it over the first jump. We do the same with second jump, the third jump half a meter high is coming up. She breaths into my ear "easy" as I let her voice cascade over me calming me as we make our way over it with no fuss. Now comes the devils dyke with water placed after the jump. Lisa keeps me steady and counts down to the jump five, four, three, two, one, jump and her hands put pressure on my thighs and her calfs firmly guide mine as we make the jump with ease. All of the sudden I can hear the crowd, the noise is deafining, I feel alive and exhilarated with the adrenalin surging through my veins. Lisa takes of the blindfold and we dismount our horse. I take her in my arms and swing her around in jubilation and before I know it I'm kissing her. The kiss is interrupted as someone comes to get us for the presentation. Her hand in mine we walk up the podium to accept the prize and we let them know our chosen charity which has the crowd going crazy as it's a home grown one. We take our leave after we wave to the crowd and make our way to see our horse that deserves just as much credit.

"That's good boy," I say to Dominicus.

"You're the best aren't you boy. We didn't have to do much you did all the work, didn't you boy," Lisa tells him which he loves as he nuzzles into her shoulder. I swear to god the horse is in love with her. After spending time with him and feeding we bid him goodbye.

Before I know what's happening Lisa and I have our lips on each other in a passionate kiss. I don't know which one of us started it but I know I need to end it. I break the kiss and push Lisa away from me distancing our bodies from each other. She looks at me dazed and confused.

"Lisa this doesn't change anything. We still can't be together," I let her know, knowing we can't continue.

She looks at me disorientated and quickly shakes off the cobwebs that have enveloped her mind. She gives her head a slight rebuke before stepping backwards, turning and leaving. I close my eyes knowing I did the right thing. I make my way to the change rooms, I need to clean up and get out of here.

* * *

Lisa and Jack both take a quick shower trying to ease the sexual tension they both feel, but to no avail.

I quickly wipe myself off thankful that my body is cooperating with me. I'm also very grateful all the other competitors are watching the pro events and not here catching a shower and a change of clothes as I am. I sit down on a chair in the middle of the room after putting my jeans on so I can get my feet into my boots. I slide the boots on but just as I'm about to reach for my shirt from my bag, I hear a rusting noise at those white plastic curtains separating the male and female competitors change rooms. I lift my head up only to see Lisa poke her head through trying to spot if there is anyone else in my section of the room.

Obviously, satisfied that nobody else is in here with me she slides through and walks towards me. She looks gorgeous if I have only one word to describe her. Gone are the jeans, shirt and boots which by the away she looked fantastic in. She has on this beautiful round neck, knee length, royal blue sleeveless summer dress with a two inch heel shoe. I sit motionless on the chair with my mouth dry at the sight of her looking so exquisite. Her dress doesn't show a plunging neckline, or all of her leg and it is not plastered to her body. I'm not one of those men that thinks less is more when it comes to womans attire. Lisa always dresses tastefully and the notion less is more is something thankfully she doesn't subscribe to.

On Lisa everything fits perfectly, it defines her shape but leaves everything else up to your imagination, burning for more. I like that about her, how she doesn't put her body on display wanting attention from everyone. Having said this it still makes a man's imagination run wild which is even more thrilling and powerful. My eyes finally stop taking in her form as she nears, my eyes now riveted to those mesmerising sparkling blue eyes which is still ablaze with need. Her eyes leave mine as it roams over my body, coming to rest back upon my eyes. I can see she has made a decision about something, I see those sparkling blue eyes turn into a deep azure blue so intense that it takes my breath away and has me gulping for air.

She's right in front me and suddenly utters huskily, "You may not want to be with anymore but I need something from you right now and I'm going to take it from you. You don't get a say in this," She finishes throatily.

She turns to leave, takes a couple steps forward only to stop as I see her slide her hands under her dress as she bends over removing her …. My breath stops as she straightens back up with her right hand filled with… I'm beyond turned on right now, my breath coming in short fast bursts and the control my body achieved earlier long gone. Gone the moment she walked into this room, she turns back around, walks towards me with the material she took off still dangling from her fingertips.

Lisa makes her way to me unbuckles my belt, undoes my button and zipper taking me out. Moving to the side and facing away from me she now lifts her left leg acroos both of mine as she straddles me and seats herself on me fully filled with her back against my chest. My mouth dry and my lungs now depleted of oxygen with my breath shallow with need. My hands automatically warp around her as she moves her body upon mine. Lisa in charge as she takes what she needs from me and I am spell bound and responsive to her desires. My breath ragged as Lisa body takes what it needs from me, my body now hers to do as she wishes. Soon we both reach the point of no return with agonising cries of each others names.

In a haze bliss with our bodies still recovering, we hear footsteps close to the change rooms. Lisa immediately dismounts herself from me. She stands up and turns to me but we hear the door open on my side of the change room which has her scurrying back to female designated area behind the white curtains. Before I stand up from the chair, I place Lisa's underwear in my pocket and quickly grab my shirt, button it haphazardly, do up my zipper and buckle my belt before grabbing my bag making my way out before anyone suspects anything.

* * *

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Thank you for your understanding.

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 **Thanks for reading and for your feedback. Thank you for taking the time out to review. I appreciate it.**


	19. Chapter 19

Heartland for some reason is running itself and I have too much time on my hands which has me thinking about every little thing about Lisa. This week so far has been harrowing, a continuation of what has been shadowing me since the day I broke it off with Lisa and walked away from her. Our subsequent awkward clash at Maggie's, was agonisingly painful and I don't want to even attempt to describe what our encounter in the change room at the rodeo was. I'm both angry and pleased that we were competing as a team. Angry because it only served to confirm how great we are together, also angry that the universe is doing everything in its power to throw Lisa and I together when we are both trying to get over each other. But on the other hand I can't help but be pleased that if she was going to partnered with someone for the rodeo it was with me and vice versa.

I honestly would not have trust anyone else with Lisa because it required a lot of trust between both partners. I could not see and still cannot see how that would have worked especially if she was partnered with a man. All that man would have wanted to do was impress Lisa and that would have ended in disaster because they would not have listened to her or taken her cues for fear that their ego would somehow be diminished in her eyes if they did that. That would have been a train wreck and Lisa would have gotten hurt and I would have probably got hauled off to the slammer after punching the guy out for being the cause of hurting Lisa. Not to mention how they'd likely be pawing at her with such close proximity which leaves me feeling nauseated.

While Lisa was my partner and we were pretty much melded together on the horse, we didn't do any actually overt in terms of touching each other to inflame each other intentionally. We knew what each others tics were and used it to get the best out of each other without trying to go over the line. While what were doing was intimate, it was born out of consideration, concern and a deep need to keep the other safe. The tactile nature of our partnership at the rodeo was intrinsic something neither one us could stop.  
While we didn't do anything to inflame each other intentionally with our bodies, we do what we always have done, we flirted because it's the way we communicate with each other more often than not. It a thing between us that was always there something I don't think either of us knows how to stop.

* * *

"I thought they were back together, guys," Ty remarks to Lou, Amy and Mallory.

"Yeah, I thought that too after they both were so cosy at the rodeo," Mallory further adds in wondering what went wrong.

"I thought that definitely after I saw them kissing," Lou says to them, letting them know why she though that they were back together.

"Me too, I thought that when I saw them on the horse together, looking as if they'd done those events together thousands of times," Amy remarks to them.

"Grandpa's being a bear guys, it has me pulling my hair out," Lou states in frustration.

"I know what you mean Lou, Jack's been on my case about every little thing although everything's been taken care off he nit picks how it is not done to his satisfaction and storms of in outrage," Ty lets them know what his been dealing with.

"Now what is you brilliant plan, Ty," Mallory wants to know with Jack continuing on in this new unbearable default mode he has adopted.

"Like I said before interfering directly will have Jack, hitting the roof," Ty reiterates to all them.

"We really don't need that Ty," Amy tells him, needing Ty to know that is not an option.

"We carry on with our original plan, he needs time to find a solution to whatever has him and Lisa on the outs," he remarks making sure they know why they need to stick to the plan.

"Okay," Mallory sighs in compliance.

"Yeah, lets keep at it," Amy remarks in acquiescence.

"This better work soon, Ty. I do not know, how much longer I can take his sullen moods. It's tiring guys and disruptive to all our lives," Lou states to them wanting them all to know that she too has been dealt the sharp end of the stick.

"Grandpa should have never got involved with Lisa. This would never be happening if they never started anything in the first place," Amy rebukes at their current situation.

"I know, Amy. I don't know why he had to start anything with her and disrupt our lives in the process," Lou states bitterly.

"Like Jack told us before. His private life isn't out business. Lets just stick to the plan and ride it out until things get settled," Ty states to all of them hoping they will all go along with the plan and not do anything stupid that would piss Jack of further.

* * *

"Why the glum face, Lisa?" Harry asks me.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I tell him, trying to brush off his observations.

"You and Jack are back together, so I don't understand," he tells me confused.

"Why would you think Jack and I are back together?" I ask him perplexed, not knowing how he would have come by that idea.

"Last weeks rodeo, you and Jack were together," he tells me with a look that says he thinks I've lost my mind.

"We were teamed up together Harry, but we are still broken up," I tell him.

"I guess that's why you haven't been to Heartland this week and why there was no phone calls from Jack. I thought that was strange, but I didn't know people that were broken up still kiss. Is this a new thing that I am out of the loop about?" he declares in his usual manner of waiting for an answer to his posed question.

Great of the people that saw Jack and I kiss it had to Harry. "It just happened, okay."

"Really, things like this just happen?" he asks me in suspicious manner.

"Yes, Harry, they do!"

"Did it happen to you with Dan after you broke up?" he enquires now with his eyes locked onto mine wanting an honest answer.

"What has that got to do with anything Harry?" I annoyingly ask him.

"Just answer the question. Did you or did you not kiss Dan after you broke up?" he enquires again determinedly really wanting an answer to his absurd question.

"No, I did not kiss Dan after we broke up," I let him know with exasperation in my voice.

"What you are actually saying is these things don't JUST happen but in fact they happen only if you want them to. Am I correct?" Harry lays it out for me wanting me to confirm that I let it happen.

I sigh in defeat and frustration nit knowing where he going with this. "Fine, it didn't just happen, okay. Are you happy now?"

"No, I am not. Why are you giving up, Lisa," Harry asks, wanting to know why I'm not pursuing my feelings for Jack.

"I already told you. Jack ended things," I reiterate to him.

"Yes, he ended things because he thinks he is too old for you."

"I am not giving up, I'm trying to respect his decision about ending us," I tell him.

"Although that didn't stop him from kissing you at the rodeo, now did it and vice versa," he throws back at me.

"It was the heat of the moment, we got carried away and forgot we weren't together anymore."

"You know in my experience when things like that happen, it means there is still something there."

"I didn't say there wasn't, Harry. I said he doesn't want to pursue anything further," I clarify to him.

"And the kissing doesn't imply he wants to pursue anything further," he enquires mockingly.

"It was the heat of the moment, Harry. After having being partnered up and being so close to each other, we couldn't help it, I guess."

"Sure, he doesn't want to pursue anything further," he says sarcastically. "Because the way he held you on that horse screamed Lisa Stillman belongs to Jack Bartlett," he states with certitude.

"Maybe he feels that way maybe he doesn't. He ended things, Harry. I need to find a way to except it."

"No, Lisa, you need to fight for him, fight for what you want," he states as I walk away from him, not wanting to continue this conversation that has my head pounding.

Harry wants me to fight for Jack. He left the rodeo straight after our little dalliance in the change room. If he wanted something with me, he would have stayed at the rodeo and we could have talked. Instead he left making it clear that he can't see us together in the future.

* * *

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	20. Chapter 20

The sun is out beating down on Heartland. The weather can't make up its mind these last couple of weeks. From day to day it changes at any given moment to be sunny, stormy, cold or rainy come to think of it, it feels exactly the way my mind has been leaping from one thought to another from one emotion to the other without any warning. My mind a chaotic jumble of opposing feelings. Feelings that have to do with Lisa and me. With the sun beating down it seems a good day as any if you wanted to break out a fire outside for a barbecue.

I remember a barbecue not too long ago that changed my life, that changed me. I see that same vision of the most beautiful woman I have laid my eyes upon seared into my mind. As sure as I sit here on the porch overlooking everything in front of me, I didn't know that that day would change everything for me. I was going about my life doing what needed to done and before I knew it, I was enchanted by those mesmerising sparkling blue eyes and there was no turning back from that moment on.

Something clicked between us. I don't know what it was, I don't think Lisa does either. But it was there, this pull, this need, the urge to explore each other to want to know the other. I certainly wasn't looking for anything and Lisa wasn't either, but 'whatever this is' or 'was' between us was always there. The burning curiosity to feel each other out which lead to something unfathomable. Like the old adage of, being careful because curiosity killed the cat comes mind. That is true in our case although we may not be dead but what we both going through now feels like a painful living death of existence.

That I was taken, with Lisa was apparent. If I'm honest with myself, I wasn't simply taken with her, I was … I don't know how to explain what I was. Is it possible to be head over heels in love with someone you just laid your eyes on? It must be because that 'whatever this is' that was between us was there the moment I looked at her. I don't know how that's possible all I know is that is how I felt. That spark between us was always there waiting to be lit, awaiting to encapsulate us in its unknown magnificance. All it took was for our eyes to meet for that spark to be lit. Because that's what it felt like one look and that pull and recognition of something, tethered us together from that moment on.

Before that barbecue I used to spend my days and nights reacting to life, doing what needed to done doing what I've always known. My life became the casualty in getting through the day. Soon after you begin to know your weakness and denial isn't strong enough to hold the fears at bay and you realise you can't escape, this emptiness, this loneliness. But that day when I saw her I didn't want to react to life anymore, I wanted to live it, I didn't want to be alone, I wanted her to take the emptiness away. Unknowingly she somehow brought me back from being too far gone in my malaise. From inside the house I can hear the radio with faint strains of a song with the words washing over me.

You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey  
You're as sweet as strawberry wine  
You're as warm as a glass of brandy  
And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time

Lisa is definitely as smooth as Tennessee whiskey, her lips are as sweet as strawberry wine because if anyone would know it, it would be me. That she is as warm as a glass of brandy goes without saying and that I'm addicted to her and am high on whatever we have is not in doubt. If she were with me right now I'd have her cuddled in my arms listening to that and would tell her if I didn't know any better that the song was written for her by me in another lifetime because she is the embodiment of that song. She would no doubt turn to me and give me a skeptical look before kissing me and telling me that she could believe that I could write something like that. She appreciates my need not to waffle and get to the point because many times she says to me 'Jack Bartlett, it is very much you short and sweet and to the point.'

That I am head over heels turn off the lights in love with Lisa was a foregone conclusion the moment, I saw those mesmerising sparkling blue eyes. I think we both tried not to get caught up in it. We both initially gave ourselves enough time and space to try and ride out that spark to extinguish the flame that was lit but eventually we both knew it wasn't going away.

I couldn't deny myself and I opened up to her. This 'whatever this is' we have made me new, made me feel alive, made me want to live again, it carried me. The truth of the matter is it still carries me, it took me on a journey and I got lost in her. Lisa's the light guiding me, she's the melody of my life. She was made for me and I am unfulfilled without her by my side. Since 'whatever this is' got a hold of me I feel like a new man, forever changed. I feel full of life now, full of passion not wanting life to pass me by feeling whispers to my heart to let it go and be alive.

How can I in good conscience let it go? How can I hold Lisa back? How can I pursue a future with her when I know I'm too old for her?

* * *

I can't believe I still have that migraine from yesterday. I wish I could blame it on Harry for coercing me into that conversation about Jack and I. I miss him, I miss us. I hate myself for being weak and allowing tears to leave my eyes a few times over our breakup. I didn't shed any tears when I divorced Dan. I've been with Jack for a smidgen amount of time but as I've come to realise it doesn't matter how long we were together, what matters is how deeply I felt for him or rather how deeply I still feel.

That's the difference this time and why I can't get a handle on my emotions. I could do another Dan type relationship and not bat an eye if it went up in flames but this with Jack is something I've never experienced before.

I don't know how to get over him. I don't want to get over him. I wish I was with him now; I want Jack to pull me in closer, close to his heart where I can feel his heart beating. I want to see the reflection of his eyes with his patience, with his kindness, with his generosity that keeps no offences or wrongs in mind. My heart was an open space until he came and filled it up with everything I didn't know I needed and made it his.

I was beyond lucky to find him right there in the open when I didn't even know I needed him; lifting my head out of the sand and making me feel something I've never felt before and making me want more out of my life. I was caught up in the wonder and mystery of trying to get to know him. People can say whatever they want about Jack and I and about our incompatibility and age difference. All I know is, we can do whatever we want and move forward however we want and change whatever we want because I know what we have and how I feel about him. My heart is open wide and my eyes open wide for him and 'whatever this is" that we both can feel.

We are pleased with what we have or I should say he was pleased with what we had with people angry with both of us for what we found in each other. We managed to quenched fires that were in our way and the ones we stoked were for the dreams we wanted for each other.

My heart is breaking, I don't know how to stop this aching? I don't know how to face this thing alone because I need my heart to make sense of the pain. But my heart now belongs to Jack and I don't know how to get it back. All I have is this detached feeling of numbness living in a world filled with something that can break me apart at any given moment, living with a faith so weak as time goes by and there doesn't seem to be a change in his mind about us.

How do I keep believing this will get better? How do I believe he will come good?

The pain it was worth it, to have never loved him or known him would have my heart living in its solitude of silence alone and not having been graced by one of the most warm, kindhearted, generous man I have ever had the privilege to be with, would have been a punishment for me divined directly from the gods.

Do I wait for the moment he might come calling because he has changed his mind? How can I not when he knows me better than I know myself.

I don't know how? But he knew my heart, he knew my sorrow, he held my hands and he lead me to trust him. I wish I was hidden in the safety of his arms because I trust his heart and his intentions even now. I trust him completely because he has always listened intently and tried to guide me through the shadows of my life. With him I've grown and I've changed. I've learned to love more deeply, give more freely. I've learned to lean upon him because his wisdom and comfort is unending. If there is nothing more for us, I will weep because I know that there will not be another man that will have those unending qualities that are inherent in him.

He is my vision the one that I want to grace my life everyday until I am taken from this earthly plane. He is my reason for living for wanting more, for myself, for us. His warmth kindness and generosity leads me to love him while being enveloped by his tenderness.

I remember how the stars above the clear Heartland skies look upon him and grace him with an undeniable radiance as the Heartland solar winds whisper his name in reverence. I do the same and with all my heart I given him everything I have.

Unbeknownst to him I've given him my love and I want to give him the honor he deserves by loving him the best I can for however long I am in this universe.

I can't explain it but there is this sweet assurance I've never known without him.

How does one stop loving a man that makes you feel things that you've never known?

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	21. Chapter 21

I don't usually do business this way but had to be accommodating under the circumstances. The prospective buyer sent his son for the meeting because he came down with a nasty flu and is anxious for this deal to go through and doesn't want to delay the sale. Hopefully I can get this done without too much hassle and be on my way back to Fairfield, it's been a long week and I don't want to be around people.

Jack watches through the window from outside while packing the feed into the truck. Lisa is obviously in some type of meeting because she has her meeting the client clothes on which is a touch formal from her normal attire. She is elegant as always and although nothing in her attire is suggestive I can see the man that she is with eyeing her up. I don't see Harry with her, he always accompanies her or her barn manager Nigel does but today it looks like she is alone. It's perturbing and has me keeping tabs on her as I continue to load the feed.

"Connor these are the papers that require your father's signature," I tell Connor Davis son of my actual client Ethan Davis. "I see no need to delay the sale as we've discussed the logistics, and sale price which remains as per your father and my discussion; these papers already drawn up is suitable and needs no further alteration." I pass the papers over to him drawing a close to the meeting.

"Please tell your father I hope he gets well soon. If you'll excuse me, I need be on my way." I get up concluding the meeting, needing to leave Connor's company because I feel uncomfortable with the way he has been eyeing me up during our conversation.

"Lisa it's been my pleasure. If all the meetings my father sent me to were with someone like you, he would receive no complaints from me," he remarks as I get up and collect all my things in a bit of a hurry.

"Connor please tell your father it's a pleasure doing business with him," I tell him as my way of bidding him goodbye before heading out the door.

I make my way to my vehicle and put my bag inside before I feel the door pulled open wider by someone. I turn around and it's Connor. "Lisa how about we go out for drinks, to celebrate this deal," he states trying to finagle a way to get me to agree to going out with him.

"Thank you, for the invitation but I'm sorry that won't be possible," I try to be diplomatic by not being rude and turning down his advance.

"Why won't it be possible?" Connor pushes for an answer trying to back me into a corner by questioning my reason for turning him down.

"Connor that is not the way I do business," I tell him now by being much more frank.

"There is always a first time for everything Lisa. I'm sure I'll be able to show you that in more ways than one," he remarks and steps into my personal space before a hand on his shoulder turns him away from me.

"Hey, man! What is your problem?"

Before this slime ball knows what's happened I have my body between him and Lisa with my back to him. "Hi Lise, we still on for tonight," I get out for the benefit of this scumbag hoping Lisa catches on.

"Hi cowboy, yes we are," Lisa states now moving closer to me before hugging each other. "Connor this is Jack Bartlett. Jack this is Connor Davis the client I was telling you about. Well, the client's son. Ethan his father got a nasty flu and wasn't able to make the meeting."

"Nice, to meet you Connor," I get out as friendly as possible trying not to let my disdain show.

"Are you some type of relative of Lisa's," Connor inquires.

"No, I'm her boyfriend," I tell him making sure he knows Lisa is off limits.

"You're HER boyfriend," he utters with his jaw on the floor.

"Yes, he is," Lisa tells him with her hand now on the crook of my arm.

"If you'll excuse us, I need to feed her before her next meeting," I falsely declare while closing Lisa's car door before walking her back into Maggie's.

* * *

We reach inside Maggie's with both of us wondering if his gone. I lead us to a quiet table in the corner. As we take I seat I spy on the spot we vacated which that slime bag is no longer at. "His gone, Lise," I let her know before giving her hand a squeeze to reassure her.

"Thank you, for doing that. If you didn't I would have had to be more blunt and to turn him down probably tanking the deal."

"You shouldn't have to say it anymore blunter than you did. He should have backed off after you said no the first time."

"Yeah," she sighs before looking at our intertwined hands on the table. With her eyes still set on our intertwined hands she softly voices, "How are we suppose to get over each other, if we keep getting thrown into these situations."

I don't know what to tell her. I feel the same way. It's unfair to both of us. Its almost as if some force wants us to suffer by making sure we run into each other knowing neither of us has had enough time to try and get over what was between us.

"I would have stayed away from you if I thought he was the type of man that was suitable for you, and not some slime ball who was blatantly eyeing you up, throughout your meeting."

"What type of man do you think is suitable for me?"

"I don't know but definitely not him," I let her know, voicing in my mind adding OR DAN.

"How about the man that is sitting right in front of me?"

"Lise, don't, we've been through this I'm too old for you. I'm sure you noticed how shocked that scumbag was when I told him I was your boyfriend."

"I don't care what he thinks or anyone else thinks. All that matters is what we think. And I don't think, I know you're not too old for me."

"Why wasn't Harry or Nigel around for this meeting? Usually they are with you to prevent things like that from happening?" I state while pointing outside to her vehicle alluding to the her getting hit on by that jerk.

"I didn't tell Harry I moved up this meeting."

"Why? If you don't tell him he can't be there or get Nigel to fill in for him."

"I didn't want to deal with his butting into my private life again, okay." Lisa tells me with her frustration coming through as I feel her hand tense beneath my hand.

I close my eyes knowing exactly what that means. "I'm glad I'm not the only one that has people butting into my private life. Be glad you've got only Harry to deal with. I have Mallory, Lou, Amy and Ty. There is no place I can go to escape their curious gazes about what has happened between us."

"I just need some space and time to get my bearings. But Harry won't let up and keeps on pushing."

"And we can't catch a break. Somehow we keep bumping into each other," I softly tell Lisa knowing how difficult it is.

"Lise, promise me you won't go to one of these meetings alone again. Let Nigel know and let him be there with you, please," I beg her.

"What's the point breaking up with me, if you still care about what happens to me?"

"I broke things off with you because I care Lise. You deserve someone who can give you everything you deserve. Someone young, someone who will not hold you back."

"You're not old Jack. To me you're just Jack the most warm, generous, kindhearted man I know. You're the most active hard working man I know, so I don't see how you being too old for me is justified."

"You'll move on from me Lise. You'll find someone that you can live your life with, someone who won't hold you back, someone that will keep up with you."

"You kept up with me pretty darn well at the rodeo," she huskily voices, while looking at me with those sparkling blue eyes that has suddenly gone a touch glassy at the acknowledgement of our tryst in the change room.

I immediately feel my cheeks start to heat and I'm sure redden. I close my eyes and gulp trying to erase the picture she managed to put in my head. I'm sure she felt the slight twitch of my fingers; that still interwinds her hand. It's not an entirely unfamiliar feeling, this flush; where Lisa is concerned that is.

"What happened at the rodeo is what I'm talking about. First of I have never had a woman take control the way you did and I had never ever contemplated doing it that way let alone in a public place. You need someone who can…"

"Who can what, Jack?"

"Someone who can give you what you need, someone your age, someone adventurous, someone that is not old school like me Lise."

"I can learn what boundaries you have, Jack. We can make it work, I won't be brazen, I can be better."

"No, Lisa….."

She pulls her hand from mine before distressingly voicing, "I'm sorry I did that to you. I know I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry." She leaves abruptly with tears now in her eyes.

I get up and rush to follow her out to her vehicle. She fumbles in her bag for her keys as I reach her.

"I don't want you to apologise. And I'm NOT sorry it happened. I may not have expected it but I damn well sure wanted it, wanted you," I let her know, not being able to bear her anguish at her misinterpretation of what I said.

"When I told you no, I meant that I don't want you to place boundaries on who you are. Lisa, I wanted to be with you because you were you. Don't you see, I don't want you to be someone else for me. I don't want you to change for me. I don't want you to give up who you are for me or for anyone else for that matter."

I need her to see that it's me not her that is the problem in our relationship. "You're so young Lise, you're so god damn beautiful and so full of life. Full of verve, vitality and vigor. You need someone who can complement you.

"Why are you so sure that someone isn't you?"

"I told you Lise, I'm too old for you and I don't have the luxury of making you my sole focus."

"You're not too old for me and I don't need you to make me your sole focus. I went into this knowing full well that I'd have a small piece of you if I was lucky and the time we'd have together would always be relative to your family's needs."

"That right there, about you coming after everything else is something else I don't want. Someone younger, someone who can give you what you need and make you a priority is what you need. Not me, Lise." I tell her with my an ache in my heart.

"Jack, Jack," I hear someone call and turn around to see it's a member of Maggie's staff. "You need to move you truck, our delivery guys are waiting to off load," he informs me.

I turn around but Lisa is already in her car turning it on before closing the door and backing out. I turn my head up to the sky taking a moment to get my emotions under control before heading to my truck.

While backing out I see Soraya run up to the truck waving at me to get my attention. I slow and stop the truck opening the window to see what she needs. She holds out a wallet. I know who it belongs too.

"Lisa, forgot her wallet. It was left at the table that she had a meeting at with Connor Davis. I'm sure she'll need it sooner rather than later. Please, can you give it to her when you see her."

"Yeah, she'll definitely need it. I'll get it to her. Thanks Soraya, Lisa will be grateful." I tell her as she hands me Lisa's wallet. I place it in my jacket pocket making sure that it's secure inside before moving off back towards Heartland.

Why is does this keep happening? Lisa and I keep getting pushed back together. We both need time and space to try and move on but everything seems to be conspiring against us making sure that that doesn't happen. My heart is so raw right now and I imagine Lisa's is too, after this latest meeting at Maggie's. I can't pass by Fairfeild today to give her wallet back. I need time, time to let my heart recover from this afternoon, time to let the image of those heartbreaking tear ridden blue eyes fade into recess of my heart and mind. 

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**I apologize for the slow updates. Thank you for continuing to read. Thanks for all the reviews and the feedback. I appreciate it very much.**


	22. Chapter 22

_Flashback:_

 _"I'm sorry for leaving you stranded at the auction. But after Dan told me you were his wife, I didn't feel comfortable staying around," I sheepishly tell Lisa as we make our way out of Heartland and head to her place at Fairfield._

 _"It was no fun but I understand why you left" Lisa lets me know sincerely. "Although before running off, next time please ask me before jumping to conclusions."_

 _"I will try and do that."_

 _"I know my reputation as a heartless and man eating woman is notorious but I hope you'll give me a chance to prove otherwise."_

 _"Lisa, what other people say doesn't bother me. Anyway I find the rumours people make up are more to comfort themselves and usually a defensive mechanism for their dissatisfied lives. Don't worry I don't pay attention to them, I make up my own mind."_

 _"That's good to know, Jack. Because honestly I'd really like it if you took the time and effort to make up your own mind about me."_

 _"You sure are something Lisa Stillman, I left you to fend for yourself and here you are not holding it against me."_

 _"What makes you think I'm not or that there won't be payback, Jack?" Lisa arches her eyebrows says in amusement which has me smiling from ear to ear. She really is something I think to myself and certainly not a snob as most people might think her to be with the amount of money she has._

 _"Don't worry Jack these things happen all the time you know. Ex-husband's pushing possible new suitors away with the wife card," Lisa and I laugh uproaringly at her jest._

 _"Seriously, Jack, I wish I could say Dan won't try something like that again but Dan is Dan and he loves nothing more then to control what I do," she remarks with exasperation in her voice._

 _"Okay, lets not have DAN control you anymore and forget about him. Did you like the any of the horses on show that you were looking at?"_

 _Lisa and I chatted the entire way to her place about the horses she was looking into. Although some of them were auctioned off there were still some on the market she was interested in. Our conversation easy, not forced or awkward which was_ welcome _by the both of us_ especially after me _ditching her at the auction in High River._

* * *

I don't know why she decided I was worth another chance after that incident. But I'm grateful she didn't write me off because to have lived and not loved her would have been to have not lived at all. I felt or still feel alive when I when we're together. I've never had a million emotions flood my heart or had eyes so mesmerisingly beautiful bathe me in their light until I met her. I didn't know 'whatever this is' could fill my soul and take my breath away. How else can I explain what she means to me. That's what it feels like when I'm with her. When she touches me, holds her hand in mine and places her lips on mine it feels like the sun shining after the longest night.

I know what it's like to get lost in those beautiful sparkling blue eyes. Where those blue depths leave you mesmerised with her breath on my face completely taking me away to a place I've never known. That's what it feels like when we're together, drifting towards something more than either of us has ever known. I've never felt forever before but with her I've come to know what it is.

We've already made memories to last the rest of our lives. When we remember them we'll have a smile because 'whatever this is' that's between us will still be burning so bright at the memory of our time together. I remember the memory of the feel of our bodies so close together, the beat of our hearts so close, the fire of our kisses so sweet making everyday so much better.

My heart still raw after yesterday's encounter, my heart shattered. I don't know if I can go to Fairfield to return her wallet without breaking further or doing something we'll both regret. My heart is torn, my mind in turmoil and my soul suffocating with the dilemma of wanting Lisa and knowing that I can't be the one for Lisa because she deserves more than me. More than an old man holding her hostage for my own personal survival.

Tomorrow will be the day that I start the rest of my life without her physically. I'll return her wallet and although physically she won't be in my life, mentally and emotionally I know will be an entirely different matter. We both need time and space to deal with our parting. Although people may not undersatnd what Lisa and I have or had, I know I will always be grateful to have had her in my life even if just for a short while.

* * *

"Lou, do you think Lisa being around is good for grandpa?" Amy asks her big sister wanting to know what she thinks of this unexpected situation with her grandpa and Lisa Stillman.

"I haven't really thought about it, Amy,"Lou tells her sister with a frown setting upon her face.

"I guess we both didn't want to think about it, hoped Lisa would go away and afterwards things would get back to normal," Amy gets out rather defeated by the fact that her assumption was incorrect.

"And now it looks like grandpa is not ready for that to happen. I didn't think grandpa was interested in a woman that way anymore," Lou tries her best to put into words her feelings about the situation.

"I know it's weird seeing him with someone," Amy tells her honestly processing her feelings on this matter.

"Especially, with Lisa Stillman, she is way younger than grandpa, not to mention the type of social strata she comes from," Lou remarks as much to Amy and herself by trying to process their grandpa's new relationship.

"I'm mean she is very, very beautiful and successful. I just didn't think grandpa would be interested in someone like her. He is so used being alone and is set in his ways, I didn't know he was looking for anyone," Amy gets out attempting to understand the changes in her grandpa's life.

"Neither did I Amy. I can see why men are attracted to Lisa but I didn't think grandpa would be like other men. He is….. He is grandpa you know, I just didn't think he would take up with some woman let alone a young woman like Lisa," Lou tell her sister perplexed, wondering what prompted her grandpa to start a relationship with Lisa.

"Do you think maybe because she young and beautiful and paid grandpa some attention maybe he needed… I don't even know what he would need Lisa for," Amy asks Lou trying to make sense of what has happened to their grandfather.

"Grandpa is probably having a midlife crisis," Lou posits to her sister giving her an answer to a question that has been plaguing both of them.

"So, what you saying is this will be temporary," Amy perks up while looking for confirmation from Lou.

"Yes! Amy once the novelty and excitement dies off grandpa will get bored of her and drop her as fast as he picked her up."

"What about why Lisa is with grandpa? She can be with any other guy she wants. What she doing with grandpa?"

"Probably the novelty of a salt of the earth real cowboy is something that intrigues her and…." Lou is interrupted before finishing.

"This is her way of trying it out," Amy finishes for her sister.

"Think about it Amy, it not going to a long term thing between them. Grandpa will get bored off her and Lisa will get bored of grandpa."

"All we need to do is let nature take its course. You are brilliant Lou," Amy delightfully hugs her sister.

"Yes, I am. Yes, I am Amy."

"At least you don't think I'm naive like Mallory and Ty," Amy remarks to her sister.

"Why do they think you're naive?" Lou enquires.

"I told them I didn't understand why grandpa was interested in Lisa. You know why he needed her in his life. They told me not be so naive. When I told them I wasn't naive and to tell me if they knew why grandpa was interested in Lisa they scoffed at me and practically rolled their eyes at me before finally telling me why they though grandpa was with Lisa."

"I am paraphrasing what Ty and Mallory said to me so don't kill me, okay." Amy using her fingers to make air quotations marks proceeds to tell Lou, "Ty was all like fine, you really want to know what he would need Lisa for. It would be for you know sex."

"AMY! That's gross his grandpa not some teenage boy. I can't believe we discussing something like that concerning grandpa." Lou says disbelievingly and nauseated.

"That is exactly what I told them Lou."

"Instead Ty told me and I'm paraphrasing again, you are naive Amy if you don't think that. What else would Jack be with her for? They have nothing else in common they have nothing else to build any sort of relationship on. Not to mention Mallory's little bit trivia and I'm paraphrasing again. My parents said sex is what human adults need that intimacy in their lives whether their children like to admit it or not."

"AMY! Stop that is a picture I don't need."

"Imagine how I felt Lou. I told them that's not the type of relationship Grandpa and Lisa have."

"You were right to tell them. And if Ty and Mallory think it's about you know the uh …..

"Yeah, I get it Lou."

"It would just be a fling Amy. Grandpa and Lisa would just be having some fun before they get back into their normal lives and routines."

"Exactly, still nothing to worry about even if they were you know …."

"Yeah. I know Amy." Lou winces at the implication of her grandfathers and Lisa's relationship.

* * *

 **Thanks for the reading and the feedback. Thank you for taking time out to review, it is appreciated.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: I apologize for the long wait.** **Unfortunately, work travel commitments get in the way of my writing more frequently. Please bear with me as I have not abandoned the story. I will try harder to post quicker. Thank you for your patience and commitment to this story.**

* * *

Sleepless torment-full nights have fast become a norm for me. Breaking things off with Lisa has been difficult to say the least. Not that the breaking off things have gone to plan or all that well either. We keep getting sucked into each others orbit leaving no room for us to try and get over our feelings. Case in point I'm on my way to return her wallet to her after she had left it at Maggie's. Heartland is running without any help from me the kids have been going above and beyond for some reason which leaves me with too much time to think. Time I don't want or need, all it does is makes my heart ache more. I pull into Fairfield and am surprised that its far busier than usual and wonder what's happening as I park my truck.

I see Harry the Fairfeild manager and feel relieved as I can give Lisa's wallet to him to return to her saving Lisa and I from another painful encounter. I make my way towards Harry who's in conversation with someone.

"Hi Harry," I say in greeting to him.

"Hi Jack," he returns slightly curious as to why I'm there talking to him and not Lisa.

"I need you to give this to Lisa, she left it at Maggie's the day before," I take out Lisa's wallet to hand over to Harry trying to get this done as quick as possible.

"Lisa's with Nigel in the barn making sure all the horses are good to go. Best you give it to her yourself, while she may not need it the next couple a days, I'm sure she'd like to thank you for getting it back to her," Harry trying valiantly to get Lisa and I to talk.

Before I can offer a response I see bus load of kids coming to a stop near the Fairfield near left barn pen. It's eight thirty in the morning, I wonder what a bus full of kids are doing here.

"I wonder how Lisa roped me into doing this," Harry mutters under his breath but still audible to me as the a bus load of at least thirty kids get off the bus.

Nigel walks over to where we are and directs the kids to unload their stuff and directs them to a pen near the barn. Before walking off Nigel looks at me confused before uttering, "You and Lisa must have your wires crossed, Jack. She said we'd be a man short for the getaway camp but you're here. Thank god, I think we need all the help we can get. Looking after and teaching teenage kids about horses will not be a picnic not to mention the overnight stay under the stars or the tents ."

I close my eyes remembering that I told Lisa I'd help out with this getaway camp after she graciously offered Fairfield after some other camp site had backed out due to quarantine because their horses were infected with EHV.

"Talk to you later Harry, I'll be saddling up a horse for myself if you guys have any to spare," I tell him while making my way to the barn.

* * *

I watch from the barn door as Lisa is scrutinising all the horses making sure they are all set for their trip. She has this little frown when she concentrates too hard and thinks too much which always brings a smile to my face with today being no different. God she's beautiful there isn't anything that come close to her beauty.

She looks up and notices me and a look of confusion filters across her face at my appearance. "Jack," she softly states before continuing just as softly and bewildered, "what are you doing here?"

I reach into my pocket and take out her wallet. "Soraya found this on the table at Maggie's, you forgot it the other day. She asked if I could get it back to you," I inform her just as softly trying to keep our hearts from getting crushed again.

"I would have been beside myself if I lost it. Thank you, for getting it to me," she tells me as she reaches to take it from my hands.

As she takes the wallet, her fingers brush mine and we both quickly pull our hands apart at the quick shock and electricity zinging through our hands infusing our entire body's. My hands on fire, my eyes drawn into those mesmerising sparkling blue eyes which is no longer guarded but open and breathtakingly beautiful with is now dancing with life.

* * *

"Jack…., …..Lisa…., …..Lisa …, …Jack….," I try to get their attention as they stare at each other almost as if in some sort of twilight zone.

"JACK…., LISA….," I shout at them to get them out of their stupor.

"Yes, Harry," Lisa asks quietly still under some sort of spell not aware that I had to shout to get their attention.

"Nigel's talking to the chaperones and getting the kids settled at the pen, you can join us whenever you ready," I let her know. "Do you need me to get a horse for Jack from the one of the other pens?" I ask her.

Her look of confusion confirms that Jack hasn't got around to telling Lisa his coming along. This should be interesting.

"Huh, what are you talking about?" Lisa enquires puzzled at this unexpected turn of events.

"Jack was coming to the barn to saddle a horse for himself. He either wants to take a trail ride by himself here at Fairfield or he needs a horse because his joining us for this getaway camp," I inform Lisa with amusement making sure Jack has to talk to Lisa and explain why he wants to tag along.

I leave them and make my way across the barn knowing they need some privacy to talk. If there is anything good that can come from this trip I hope it gets Jack and Lisa on a surer footing in their relationship.

* * *

"Jack you came to return my wallet, which was kind enough of you. There is no need for you to get roped into this as Harry would put it," I state to Jack trying to let him off the hook and giving him am out.

"I promised you I would help out before you went to France, Lisa. And besides Nigel seems just a bit jittery about handling that many teenagers without more help," Jack says amusingly to me about Nigel's thoughts on teenagers and their high maintenance issues.

"Jack you can't pick up and go overnight somewhere. You had no notice and can't leave Heartland and the girls without word of your whereabouts. They would be worried sick," I tell him knowing Lou and Amy would be worried out of their minds if he didn't inform them that he might be out for the night.

"Do you have your phone on you," Jack asks me. I take it out of my back pocket and hand it to him.

"Huh… Lise what is this. This isn't a phone it has no buttons," Jack look at the device befuddled.

"It is a phone. Apple just came out with it. It is a smartphone. No buttons just a home button the rest is done buy touch," I inform him.

"Huh.. Whats that now?" he asks me clearly mystified.

"Press the button."

"Okay, now it has an arrow pointing right with the words swipe to unlock," he states with a look of concentration on his face that almost has me bursting in laughter.

"Okay, so what's the problem do what it instructs."

I watch as Jack takes his index finger and swipes to open the phone. His eyes pop wide open upon seeing a picture of himself staring back at him.

"How am I on your phone? When did you take that?" Jack asks in astonishment.

"The day I told you I'd have Dan call Amy about Gallant Prince. I was parked across at Maggie's while you were loading at Maggie's. I had my camera because I was going to look at a horse. I saw you there and you looked so handsome that I couldn't resist. I took a picture of you and when I got this new smartphone and you could upload any photo as your wallpaper, I put that photo as mine because while I was in France, I couldn't stop thinking about you," I inform Jack in an almost defeated tone while I look down at the floor feeling an embarrassment overcome me.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you either, Lisa. All I had were pictures of you in my memory, nothing as concrete and reassuring as this." Jack states sweetly lifting my head back up with he is fingers lifting my chin up to meet those green eyes now filled with a softness that melts my heart.

"How do I call if there are no buttons on this thing?"

"Okay, open the phone again."

"The swipe thing."

"Okay, besides this handsome cowboy staring back at me there are also a whole lot of others small picture like things with things like messages, photos, calendar, weather, settings,…." Jack states to wondering how this will all be able to help him make his call.

"Use your finger and touch on contacts."

"It opened! with a lot of names Lisa."

"On the right of the screen; can you see the small alphabets in grey. Now touch on the J."

"My fingers are too big Lise. I'd touch every thing from F to K."

"Your fingers are fine. Not too small or too big, they're perfect. Just try it."

"Okay, here goes nothing." I watch as Jack touches the alphabets. The contact with all the K's appear.

"I don't think….."

"It's fine. You just need to scroll up by moving your finger downwards and look for Jack."

"What's scroll?" he looks at me confused.

I take his finger and help him scroll to the J's. I stop when we reach the J's. "Keep doing that slowly until you find Jack."

"Got it."

"Touch on it. Now touch the number."

"Okay, touched it. Now what?"

"Ahh Jack you just dialled."

"What! Really."

"Hello, grandpa is that you." We both hear Amy on the line as Jack quickly places the phone to his ear.

"Yes, Amy it's me. I wanted you and Lou to know that I won't be home tonight. I'll be back tomorrow late afternoon, if you need me call Fairfield or Lisa's cell phone. The numbers are underneath the phone."

"Okay, Grandpa no problem."

"After you do night check, be sure to lock the door straight after."

"Will do grandpa. I'm not a kid, I know what to do, don't worry about us we'll be fine. See you tomorrow. Bye, Grandpa."

Jack holds the phone looking at it. "Uh..Lise, How do I hang up?"

"The red button if Amy hasn't yet, otherwise it hangs up when the other person hangs up."

Jack hands me the phone looking at it like it's a piece of a UFO.

"That was…. Different." Jack chuckles as we both smile. "See, now you don't need to worry about the girls they know I'm here and they know they can reach me. I'm free to help as I promised you."

"Jack, you don't need to do this. We'll manage."

Jack takes my hands in his before notifying me, "I promised you that I would help out, Lise. And I always try to keep my promises. You are doing this although Fairfield is at its busiest. You are giving those kids something they would have never experienced had you not volunteered Fairfield to host this camp for them. The least I can do is be here to help with something that is worth while doing."

"Okay, in that case you need a horse. These in front are for the campers, pretty safe, slow and sure footed. You can pick from the far end, if you don't fancy any of those you can ride my horse since you know him already.

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 **Thank you for continuing to read. Your time and effort** **is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to review and give feedback.**


	24. Chapter 24

"Lisa, John Reese is on the phone. He wants to talk to you…now." Harry imparts to Lisa with urgency lacing his voice with a tense posture supporting his unease as he hands her the phone.

"Hi John, what can I do for you?" Lisa asks one of her most valued clients.

"I need you in France right away. There is a thoroughbred that I want your opinion on, he looks a marvel but I want you here to make sure, I'm not fooling myself of his pedigree." John informs Lisa matter of factly expecting her acquiescence to his request.

"I'm sorry John, but I will not be able to get on a plane to France for another forty-eight hours." Lisa knows a man like John Reese does not hear the word no all that often if at all.

"Lisa that is too late? I need you here sooner than that. Move things around and get on a plane for this."

"I'm sorry John I have a prior engagement I can't change. I can get on a plane in forty-eight hours but no sooner."

"I bring a lot of revenue to Fairfield, Lisa. Are you really willing to sacrifice millions of dollars of guaranteed revenue for this prior engagement you can't move."

"I truly am sorry John, but I really can't move what I have. If you feel I'm not meeting your requirements I cannot fault you for moving your business elsewhere. If you feel that I'm falling short, I understand and would not hold it against you." All Lisa can hear is the sound of someone hanging up in a huff.

"Okay, that went as well as expected." Lisa commiserates with herself more than anything else.

"You can go you know, Nigel, Sally and I can manage this getaway camp with all the others we have on hand. John Reese is an important client with a lot of influence Lisa. He could do a lot of damage that could be felt for a long time. You've spent a long time cultivating these relationships you don't need to put them in jeopardy Lisa." Harry lets Lisa know that the rest of them are willing cover for her, to make sure she knows that she has the option of going to France to meet John Reese, one of Fairfield's most prominent and valuable customers.

"Thank you, Harry. I appreciate that but I'm the one that begged you and Nigel to help me out with this getaway camp. I won't abandon the rest of you or those kids. Fairfield is doing fine, we'd be able to absorb the hit if John decides to pull out."

"Even if he gets others to pull out."

"Yes, we'd manage. That's what those reserves are for, Harry."

Lisa dials a number on the phone. She had a purposeful look on her face as she places the call. "Hi Marrisa, this is Lisa. I need you to have a plane ready for me to leave in forty-eight hours. The flight will be from Calgary to Paris. I will need a car to take me the Longchamps Racecourse upon arrival. I'll let you know the exact time tomorrow. Thank you, and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Jack was privy to the conversation as he was picking a horse for himself in the barn at the time of the call. He doesn't know the exact details of the what Lisa just did but on some level he gets that it could potentially hurt Fairfield's business long term because of her declining to go to France immediately.

* * *

As we make our way outside, Nigel and the rest of the staff are already teaching the kids the basics of saddling and riding, the rest of us make our way to the pen gates in case we are needed to help out. "Okay, everyone listen up. I'm going to split you in eight groups of five. But before I do that I'm going introduce you to our three other guides joining us. First the man walking towards me is Harry, the manager of Fairfield stables. The man with a championship winning stash is Jack Bartlett, one of the finest rodeo cowboys still around, his from Heartland Ranch and was gracious enough to help us out for this."

Jack tips his hat to all the of them in greeting.

"Next to him is Lisa S….." Nigel is cut of before going further.

"Hi, everybody I'm Lisa and I work at Fairfield as a trainer." Lisa makes sure that they don't know she owns Fairfield so omits her last name and that she is the owner of Fairfield Stables.

Jack gives her a quick look of curiosity before moving his mind back to what Nigel is saying.

"Okay, everyone you'll now be split in groups and will have your guide for the duration you are here. If you have any difficulties or questions ask your guide. They will be help you. If there are no questions, lets get started everyone."

With that the groups were formed. The guides now were all busy showing their group members, how to saddle, tack, mount a horse and ride. Everyone seemed to enjoy the challenge of learning something new. As for the guides they all seemed to be enjoying themselves as well finding it quite amusing that most people city people were afraid of horses and the outdoors. But nevertheless it made for a fun and enjoyable experience for all.

Through it all Jack tried to keep a keen eye on Lisa whenever he was able to. Lisa on the other hand was at the far end pen easily coaching the kids to tack, saddle, mount and ride the horse, while also obviously sorting things out with her staff that kept coming to her pen with things that needed to be sorted before she left. Lisa hardly had a breath to catch she was so busy but made sure that the kids enjoyed themselves and had fun doing it. She was an amazing teacher, knew when to be firm and when to ease up. She made sure that the kids were gaining some confidence by making it just a bit more difficult for them and allowing them to overcome it on their own giving them a great boost in confidence. Jack marvelled at the trainer in her, she was expertly skilled at helping others that was for sure.

I see Lisa come to the pen I'm at to talk with Nigel. I see Harry coming as well. The conversation they having is most definitely about Fairfield Stables as Lisa gives quick fire answers to the questions they throw her way about some of their thoroughbreds.

"Start the ride to the camp site Nigel. I will leave with my group in fifteen minutes, I need to do a few more things before I leave for the camp site." Lisa tells both Harry and Nigel.

"Uhh… Lisa we can wait, it's better we all head out together." Nigel tries to get Lisa to change her mind.

"Forty beginners to the camp site Nigel. Although we may think there is plenty of daylight left but with beginners that daylight might begin to run out." Lisa rightfully informs them. Both Nigel and Harry both reluctantly agree.

I walk over to them a solution having already formed in my mind. "While your right Lisa, Nigel and Harry do have a point about heading out together. But since that isn't possible I have a suggestion. Let the rest of them go ahead that will be thirty beginners already on the way. I'll hang back with my group and we'll leave with your group when you're ready. That's ten beginners and between the two of us we'll be able to manage that."

"That will work better." Harry states to Lisa with Nigel on board as well.

"Lisa?" I ask wanting to know if she's on board with it or if she wants to change which group stays behind or rather guide stays behind with her.

"That's fine. You guys get going we won't be too far behind." Lisa tells Harry and Nigel. They make their way to their groups and take them to the barn to tack, saddle and mount their horses before they make their way to the camp site.

"Lisa, go and get what you need done. I'll take your group with mine and get started on the tacking, saddling and mounting. I'm pretty sure you'll be done before we are." I tell Lisa making sure she doesn't have to worry about the kids in her group.

"Okay. I'll be as quick as I can." Lias tells me before briskly making her way to her office.

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